2002-04-24 | 5:13 p.m.

cordoroy licorice knew that everything comes out in the wash, so he would hike down into it every day. he usually found license plate frames, furniture, tires and various abandoned accoutrements.

***

the new k-mart tv commercials are using bits of songs from the royal tenenbaums.

did wes anderson hold some kind of blue light special on his movie's soundtrack? because if he did, i have a few choice words for him.

"poo-poo head."

maybe the music licensing issues are out of his hands. if so, i issue a full poo-poo head retraction.

that movie's soundtrack is quite tasty. a bouyant buffet of boss bohemia. i guess producer mark mothersbaugh gets a lot of the credit for pulling together such a cool and quirky song parade. just right for a sunshiny weekend afternoon.

***

you know how sometimes, someone will narrate their own actions in conversations to appear extra clever? for example, a person might greet someone this way:

"hello, she said suspiciously."

i was thinking it would be super happy joy joy cool if someone narrated EVERYTHING they do. like, for instance, wherever they were, whatever they were doing, they'd be constantly commenting on their actions aloud, in real-time, in the third-person.

like what if some girl named rhonda was waiting in line at the convenience store and said:

"rhonda sighed loudly and handed the cashier her purchases, hoping he wouldn't card her like he did every time she came in this store. she was really looking forward to drinking the jack daniels she was purchasing. it had been a long, hard day and the last thing she wanted was any of this guy's shit."

or maybe at work, a guy named tom could describe his movements aloud this way:

"tom entered the conference room and tried to make eye contact with everyone in the room. he had read in a magazine that effective eye contact is a key habit of highly successful people. he took a seat next to his boss, a man he really admired, then set down his coffee mug and smiled at his co-workers across the table with an air of confidence."

nictate read over her entry and decided it was as good as it was going to get. she hit the "done!" button and then headed home for the night.

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