fresh�| day old�| links�| e-mail�| guestbook�| diaryland

2002-04-23 | 5:55 p.m.

when walking into the diner, corduroy licorice warned his brother that time and tide wait for no man. you see, time and tide were both hardcore feminist waitresses and would only serve the fairer sex. flo was the one server in the joint who would wait on the menfolk who came in to grub.

***

i've come clean about my OCD. well, that same condition causes me to be obsessive about all kinds of things, including songs.

when i get a favorite song, i'm like a little kid who's become fond of a game...and when it ends, cries out: "again! again!"

in times like this, the replay button is my well-worn friend.

my current #1 song request is by a guy named stew. he has a new album out called "the naked dutch painter...and other songs." you can take a listen here.

the nude netherlander in question is my new aural obsession. the song is spare and sweet and full of winks. here are the lyrics:

"the naked dutch painter in the kitchen
does not want to f*ck you
she's got seventeen boyfriends
and an 8 o'clock class to get to
she's smoking hash all night with some coffee amaretto
she's asking stupid questions 'bout my groovy black ghetto
and the naked dutch painter in the kitchen
does not want to f*ck you
la, la, la, la, la...

the naked dutch painter in your bed
does not want to sleep with you
she just feels like being naked
you don't think that you can take it with her next to you
she says gandhi used to sleep between two naked women
but you're not the mahatma--that's a whole other religion
the naked dutch painter in your bed
does not want to sleep with you

the naked dutch painter in the morning
does not want to need you
she missed her 8 o'clock class
'cause she couldn't get her ass up off of you
so you walk along the rhine and jump back in the sack
if this is how they do it, you're never going back
and the naked dutch painter in the morning
does not want to need you

talking 'bout the naked dutch painter, the naked dutch painter...la, la, la...

the naked dutch painter in the gallery
does not want to love you
she's throwing fluorescent paint accompanied
by a mingus tape that she stole from you
it's performance art porno under trippy black light
she left with her professor
he can stretch her canvas tight
and the naked dutch painter in the gallery
does not want to love you

the naked dutch painter in his arms
does not want to see you
you are drunk and you are sore
you busted down professor's door and yet he feels for you
so a wicked joint is rolled and it mellows out your head
but you're not feeling too bold when he invites you into bed
while the naked dutch painter in his arms
does not want to see you

talking 'bout the naked dutch painter, the naked dutch painter...la, la, la...

so now you're on your own
in a freezing pay phone around daybreak
you're feeling so shitty
that you're calling culver city just to bellyache
but there's nobody home except your answering machine
so you write a stupid poem
about the freaky shit you've seen
like the naked dutch painter in the morning sky
who hovers above you

the naked dutch painter at your door
says she finally loves you
but she said "i'll see you later" when she saw
another naked painter sitting in the kitchen with you
well, she seemed a little shattered
and she got a little pissed
but she saw that you were flattered
by the fact that you were missed
while the naked dutch painter at your door says...(chuckle)

talking 'bout the naked dutch painter, the naked dutch painter..."

<----������� ---->


take a peek at these - (c) 2000-2003 nictate:

health tip
2005-03-16

health tip
2005-03-16

moving house
2004-11-19

quibbling with quitherfeather
2004-11-17

catcher in the wry
2004-11-16