2001-12-07 | 6:31 p.m.

corduroy licorice couldn't take the heat, so he got out of the kitchen. why his mom liked to bake during the dog days of summer was beyond him.

***

my father taught me the very valuable lesson of being "a regular" who orders "the usual."

there are two places in l.a. where i'm a "regular" who orders "the usual." one is a tea place that serves my favorite beverage, boba (or tapioca) tea...the drink you can chew! the second place is the best sushi place i've ever eaten. (of course, that claim must be disclaimed by the fact that i don't actually eat the raw stuff, but my friends who do exclaim that it's some of the best they've eaten, too. plus, i've seen chris isaak and harrison ford gnoshing there. so there.)

conveniently so, these two joints are in the same monolithic beige strip mall, so i can hit them up one-two-punch-style. and as soon as i walk in the door, both places know what i want before i even open my mouth.

green tea with soy milk and boba.

2 vegetable rolls and edamame.

the usual.

it saves so much breath to use this method of conducting business. plus, you get warm fuzzies from the "hi"s of recognition a l� norm of cheers. it feels damn good to be a regular.

lately there's been the added bonus of the omar shariff lookalike parking structure attendent who gives me the white glove treatment. ok, maybe it's because i told him that he looks like omar. or maybe it's because i told him "his movie" was playing when the rereleased "funny girl" was on the big screen recently. maybe it's because i dabble nictate charm capsules upon his brow as i drive in and out of his exhaust-fumed domain. for whatever reason, he now gives me the royal treatment. not only do i not have to bother with getting a parking ticket validated, he usually waves me into one of the coveted "reserved parking only" spaces intended for rock stars, diplomats and those of that ilk.

i could get used to this kinda juice. just call me "the usual" suspect.

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