2001-05-12 | 2:29 p.m.

corduroy licorice studied abroad one summer. she lived across the street and he would watch her sunbathe with his binoculars. why she wanted his binoculars with her by the pool was beyond him, but he was happy to have any part of himself near her.

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my weekend described in poetic form:

it's amazing how much you can get done

when you're not having fun.

that's right, folks. i had to work this weekend. the funny thing is that knowing my free time was limited, i had this sudden compulsion to make that disposable time as productive as possible. i ran errands, did laundry and cleaned like a mad woman--we're talking moving-the-bed-to-vacuum-under-it clean. the rest of the time i was at the orifice with a few other cursed souls who are being kept down by the man. it should be over soon. i hope. *grind teeth*

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i think the what's the worst that could happen? billboard advertising the movie starring martin lawrence and danny devito answered its own question.

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the barenaked ladies' stunt album is so full of mouth-watering melodies and crack-me-up lyrics. it makes me feel good to know they're out there somewhere wandering around the world with those wonderfully tweaked minds of theirs.

***

malice in all her brilliant loveliness wrote the sweetest mini-tribute to her mom for mother's day. hop on over if you wanna get a bit misty.

of course, she inspired me to make up a little mom tribute of my own...i hope she don't mind my copycattiness.

reasons why my mom rules

she is competitive about the weather - she says "bless your little heart" when i do something nice - she is my own personal on-call nurse delivering comfort and reassurance fiberoptically - she used to make me custard when i was sick growing up and now she says, "i wish i could make you custard" when i call in sick now - she listens to my boy stories and gets a kick out them - her attempted manipulations of me and my sister are so overt, it borders on entertaining - she's always there for me - she tells me how smart i am. heh. - even her little annoying habits are comforting because they're familiar - she birthed me and raised me and clothed me and educated me and gave, gave, gave of her heart and love and home and spirit - when i'm really stressed or scared, i call out one word involuntarily, instinctually..."mommy!"

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