2001-02-01 | 04:29:51

i had this goofy idea in the restroom at work today.

i don't know what it is, but being in a little private space just a wall away from the office gives me just enough latitude to be silly. a mini-escape.

there are three separate restrooms at work, one female, one male and one bisexual (as our receptionist calls it). each is a relatively big room with a toilet and sink...fancy that!

i really love our restrooms. it's among my favorite things about our office. it's so nice to have a moment of complete privacy while not having to squeeze into a tiny, awkward stall.

sometimes i start to drop my drawers as i prepare to...you know...go number one, and catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror. that usually inspires me to twist around to moon myself. i crack up after doing that, man. then i think, i'm so glad they don't have video cameras in here.

sometimes i stick my nose up at my reflection. sometimes i do a little dance. then i laugh.

i come up with silly ideas in there. and some smart ones, too.

sometimes i decide which celebrity i look like that day. once it was catherine deneuve (sp?). once it was christopher walken.

sometimes i say something to myself outloud and then i'll hear someone try the door handle and realize that there is a good chance they just heard me and will determine me crazy.

so my goofy idea today was to throw edamame (cooked soybeans in the pod) at various people who were being obnoxious in public...like talking on their cell phone too loudly in a grocery store. so my idea involves approaching them, then throwing a soy pod at them and saying tersely, "you soy annoy!" then, running away.

see, the soybeans are too soft to cause injury...and soy rhymes with annoy. at least that's how i'm seeing it. i'd kinda be like a guardian angel-type vigilante. maybe i'd even wear green so as to resemble a human-sized soybean pod. it's still in the early stages of planning, but a few more trips to the restroom and i should have it hammered out.

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angelina is into mcdonald's, but not mickey rourke. today her list is up at girlboy...

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