2000-11-01 | 07:04:24

bleh. i'm sick. literally. fever. sore throat. aches and pains. just like the cold medicine commercials describe.

i guess staying up until 3 a.m. for three out of the last four nights finally caught up with me. and here i was bragging that i was a machine...but no.

i wore my britney spears halloween costume to work yesterday. it's really fun being britney spears, because everyone recognizes you and grins and says, "britney! can you show us your dance moves?" that stuff never happens to me when i'm just walking around as myself. i think i'm gonna have post-partum depression when i return to my non-britney state.

i was at a crosswalk last night and these girls rolled down their window and yelled, "are you britney spears?" i nodded and then proved it by doing a hip-slapping dance move combo i've been practicing. they burst into giggles. i do what i can to entertain in traffic.

yesterday at lunch, my buddy amber and i went to a sex shop.

ok, don't get the wrong idea. she needed a leather collar for her fallen angel costume. she was going to be chained to her boyfriend who was going as the devil. pretty clever, aye? so yeah, she needed a leather collar.

we walked in, me as britney spears, amber in a dramatic, black fur-cuffed and -collared velvet coat and long skirt. the two of us were probably quite a sight in that store of horniness appeasement.

as amber looked through the cardboard box-o-collars, i tried on some way steep lace-up, black patent leather boots. not quite dominatrix action. more rocky horror picture show in nature. they barely fit, but i had to have them. you know, britney may be squeaky clean, but she does have a wild side.

then i amused myself by looking at all the dildos. my, my. such a wide variety to choose from. american and taiwanese ingenuity at its best. plastic male parts and female parts. second-rate (or even third-rate models) pictured on the packages with lust-dumbed eyes.

the one that tripped me out the most was a penis on a bouncing ball--you know, like the rubber bouncing balls that you sit on and ride like a bucking bronco as a kid. well, hot damn. that's a new one on me.

ok, now i need to drink some orange juice and go to bed! bye for now! mwwwaaaaaa!

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today over a girlboy, kerry shares a charming list about the kind of guy who would make her feel twitterpaited.

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