2000-07-09 | 04:57:11

i'm going to marry a world-famous comedic actor.

someday. i have a feeling about this.

part of the reason: funny is a huge factor for me when it comes to attraction to a guy. HUGE.

HUUUUUUGGGGGGGEEEEEEEEE.

i think my first famous comedian crush was steve martin. "the jerk" and "the man with two brains" sealed the deal. i didn't mind the premature graying or nothing. steve, you had me at "all i need is this chair. that's all i need...."

i'm picking out a thermos for you, big boy!

then there was woody allen. schleppy, wiry, frizzy-haired woody. ah, if i could only have been his soon yi. i wouldn't scold you like she does, woody...although something tells me you like it like that. one movie earned you my eternal and undying love--"annie hall," you doll!

my next comical conquest? peewee herman. not the most butch boy in the bronx, but something about that childish, gleeful high-pitchedness and pre-shrunk suit made me swoon. he and i would have lived so happily in his playhouse, buttering toast with giant knives and wearing bunny slippers.

then there was albert brooks. my mom bought "lost in america" on video at one of those price club warehouses places on a whim. one of the best things she ever did for the family. that, and the college fund.

and, of course, garry shandling..."the garry shandling show" and "larry sanders" made my heart skip a beat. mmmmmmmmhmmmm. but he's too bitter. gotsta throw that one back. then again, self-hate is so hot.

who wants to marry a (famous comedic) millionaire? that would be me. and that is my final answer.

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