2000-05-08 | 23:21:54

although the media has been focused lately on the "i love you" virus, there is a threat far greater in the "i like you, but" virus. sure, people aren't talking about it much...ok, at all...but it's out there, by golly.

the "i like you, but" virus strikes single men between the ages of 18 to 40. ground zero of the strain has not been documented at this point, but research is being done on a daily basis by single women 18 to 40.

the virus manifests itself in symptoms of commitment-phobia. oh sure, it's common knowledge that men have been afraid of marriage for as long as anyone can remember. but afraid of a date? afraid of an innocent string of dates? afraid of a tv night at an interesting girl's apartment? what's up with that?

awhile back, a friend was semi-dating a guy--the relationship dodged between friendship and macking on each other. she finally had a talk with her charming fella when one night he chose to stay home with his creature comforts rather than to drive over to see her. this was not the first time he had exhibited such evident disinterest in spending time with her, so she asked him what was up. his explanation was that when he thought of her, he thought of the house and the picket fence and he knew he knew was not ready for that.

mmmkkaay...she just wanted to watch tv with him!

obviously he was infected with the "i like you, but" virus. textbook example. my former crush who i wrote about awhile back also has the condition. it's obvious we like each other and enjoy each other, but evidently my inherent charms (wheeeee!) and perhaps my advancing years (35) make me a suspected picket fence threat, as well. ok, i'm extrapolating here, but i know that's what's goin' on. little does he, or any guy know, but the picket fence is the last thing on my mind. i just want a cool guy to hang out with and "date." i'm not even ready for "mr. right" for god's sake. i'm pretty immature for my age. late bloomer, you know.

i see the "i like you, but" virus walking around on a daily basis. from hearing friends' stories, from my own run-ins with the opposite sex and even in watching my guy friends in action (or rather, inaction). it's a sad, sad truth that women are facing. i mean, i guess at some point the whole "break up or get married" nexus arrives, so maybe these guys are really saving us trouble and heartache later? are they pulling a humphrey bogart and saying "don't stick with me kid, i'm nothing but trouble." maybe they're actually more mature to realize what they aren't capable of or ready for? maaaaaybe. but can't dating just be about fun sometimes? isn't that what dating's for...to figure these things out? it's not a one-way ticket to the altar.

guys, if i can reassure you at all...sometimes we just want to watch tv in the company of your testosterone. don't hold out on us...or it really will turn into a world of solo people sitting at their computers and relating through digital bleeps and whirs in each others' in-boxes instead of bleeping and whirring sweet nothings into each others' ears.

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