2002-07-24 | 7:15 p.m.

corduroy licorice liked to sleep in the buff. his sheets were a pale yellowish shade.

***

my grandma way far away turned 93 this week. i called her to wish her a happy birthday and her caretaker put her on the phone. my grandma can't really hold up a conversation anymore. or i should say, she can't hold up a conversation that makes sense. we take turns talking, but that's about all the coherence it has. she's taken to mumbling, too, which doesn't help. still, it felt good to hear her voice and to let her know i loved her. when she handed the phone back to her caretaker, she said: "that was my good friend."

recently i was cleaning out my closet, tossing out old letters and cards that i didn't need to keep anymore. while i was sorting, i found a slip of folded up notebook paper that i'd taken some notes on back in 1997 during a visit with my sister when we went to see our grandma way far away. i was realizing what a classic my grandma was and wanted to write down some of her sarah-isms as a keepsake.

she was telling us stories about her life and she just has such a downhome way of speaking. the old-time slang, her okie accent, the weight of her life experience all were interwoven like a heirloom quilt.

in honor of her enduring amazingness, i decided to share some of her more famous quotable quotes:

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my sister: grandma, how many hours do you sleep a night?
grandma: all of them.

(um, grandma? steven wright called. he wants his punchline back.)

***

about my black sheep of an uncle:

you wait long enough and he'll tell you something that'll show what he said before warnt right.

***

my sister: grandma, can i have an apple?
grandma: they're as free as the water that runs.

***

it's hard to know what people are. they put on a big show for you.

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does he talk real rich?

***

my nose is itching. someone must be coming.

***

talking about her three marriages:

grandma:i just had to get out of there, so when i was 18 i got married. i met fate and kept him 'til he died. when he died, i got me another one.
my sister: are you ever going to get married again?
grandma: no, i've been married enough.

***

me: you're funny, grandma.
grandma: they say i am. they laugh around me. i try to make people glad.

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