2001-06-12 | 4:06 a.m.

corduroy licorice really knew how to stretch a dollar. he even had to get a bigger wallet to be able to fit the longer bills.

***

i've got a little headache tonight. maybe it was the two margaritas i had after a fun afternoon in the sun running around l.a. in a company-sponsored scavenger hunt (team-building event. unlike it sounds, actually totally fun.) or maybe it was the semi-stress of looking after a few drunken co-workers who continued the alcohol consumption after our event, off the company tab, at a local watering hole.

or maybe it was that one of the drunken co-workers was trying to convince me to procreate. not with him, actually. just in general. he thinks i should be multiplying myself upon the world because the world would be a nicer place with mini-nictates running around.

so i face the question posed: do i want kids? do i owe it to society to make some baby nictates? i mean, it's flattering to be told that my model and make is cool enough that it should be replicated.

then my drunken co-worker says, "why aren't you married with kids? i mean, you of all people. look, you must have guys after you all the time. right?"

"um, no," i said.

"then you must be too picky."

"um, no." (at least not picky the way he's thinking.)

see, what drunken co-worker #1 doesn't understand is that i'm the type of girl whose appeal sneaks up on people. i once called myself a "stealth babe." i'm attractive, but not in the every-guy-who-passes-checks-me-out way some of my girlfriends are. you know, that thing where your personality makes you cuter? yeah, like that.

so anyway, drunken co-worker #1 apologizes for going off on the subject of my uterus's bandwidth. i just don't know. i don't see myself becoming a mom. plus, my birthing years window is starting to crank slowly shut.

as much as i see the love my friends have for their kids, and as much affection as i feel for their offspring, i don't think i want one of my own. the responsibility is staggering. my maternal instincts rear their nurturing heads rarely. hmmm...i just don't see it happening. i'll make a better aunt. spoil 'em, play with 'em, send 'em home to mama.

and that'll be ok. not everyone needs or wants to be a parent. the freeways are crowded enough, yo.

***

my favorite part of the company scavenger hunt was on the ride back to work. they hired limos(!) to take us on our adventure. (you know, as much as the monster overtime sucked, our company does do a lot of cool stuff for us.) anyhow, about ten of us piled into a limo. some had been drinking during the hunt from the limo's liquor cabinet, so they even had a headstart on us others who had only had drinks at the end-of-event happy hour. everyone was in different stages of being buzzed and there were a few too many of us in the return limo. spirits were high and giddyness was rampant. everyone started talking with accents and hamming it up and one girl put on a wonderful eurotrash act--"david love, could you put these in the trunk for us?" (to the driver). we flew along pacific coast highway, giggling and flirting and snapping random polaroids and being wannabe rock stars. it was just one of those magical, sparkly moments that i want in my mental photo album always.

<----������� ---->