2002-08-23 | 6:45 p.m.

corduroy licorice knew better, but they'd lost touch after better dropped out of high school. rumor had it that he'd suffered from a severe inferiority complex.

***

i was touched by an angel in the grocery store last night.

it was about 10 p.m. i was picking up a few things after another frickin' ass 12-hour day at the office.

i have a habit of avoiding the whole grocery basket scenario and just carrying things by hand. i always figure i'm not getting that much. but then, after wallowing within the tempting wonder of a cornocopia of foodstuffs, i always want more. so i pile things on top of each other and create a precarious structure with sundries lodged under my armpits and balanced on my hips. i get a lot of looks as i weave down the rows like a two-legged pack mule, but i care not.

last night was no different. my bottled water quickee trip turned into paper towels, a 12-pack of toilet paper and a jar of bread and butter-style pickles. then i got a serious hankering for string cheese. i wobbled over to the dairy section where my payload unceremoniously began to collapse on top of the grated cheese display.

suddenly a heavenly form was at my elbow.

"you got it?" he inquired, simultaneously reaching to catch a loose cannon of mine as it tumbled downwards.

"yeah," i reassured, half-annoyed, half-embarassed.

"you could use a cart," he replied and started turning his head about.

"uh-oh," i thought, "can't he be like a normal city person and ignore me in my struggle?"

"i'm fine, thanks," i murmured, focusing on the brie and hoping he'd mosey along.

"there's one!" he called, as he loped over to an abandoned cart trying to hide behind a garbage can by the door to the deli department. i could fight off his kindness no more.

"oh, thanks!" i grimaced gratefully, as he pulled the cart towards me. as i started dumping my stuff into its wire cage, he stood there and watched me. he was strikingly cute, yet creepy in that american beauty video camera guy kinda way.

"better, huh?" he asked, still staring.

i was slightly disturbed by his attention, yet intrigued. sure, he was probably 10 years my junior, but he was a handsome oddball with a heart of gold who would interrupt his own food gathering mission to help another. but what was with the staring? i knew i looked kinda cute in my pink surfer girl get-up, but this was above and beyond.

"yeah. wow. a grocery store rescue! thanks so much!" i grinned. he slowly returned to his cart and we parted ways.

as i finished my shopping, i mused over the random act of niceness and creepy cuteness. and here i'd thought, "gross!" when i'd spotted him earlier eating a deli counter hunk of bbq chicken out of a preheated "ready to eat" tin with his bare hands.

then the pieces started to come together...the mid-aisle, no napkin noshing, slowed movements and prolonged staring. i bet he was high on the wacky weed when he came to my assistance!

ok, ok. so i was touched by a stoned angel. i'll take my divine intervention any way i can get it, thank you very much.

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