2002-02-28 | 6:33 p.m.

corduroy licorice would often throw in the towel...usually after his mother had already started the washing machine.

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a bunch of my co-workers are getting together for a survivor series premiere party tonight.

not that there's anything wrong with that.

but i gotta say "ewww."

i went to the first season finale party the same group had awhile back and realized that not only was i bored out of my mind, i was rapidly losing respect for my work friends at the sight of them getting so wrapped up in such staged and pointless drivel. i got out of there before more damage could be done.

once ascension asked me if i watched the show. my reply:

"i'd rather eat grub worms."

sorry tv zero. you can kick my ass later. but be warned...ascension and i have formed an alliance...and she's tuff enuf for da bod of us.

***

hey, my illustrious web mentor torrez is back writing online...with a new site design, too. woohoo!

***

today i was in the restroom at work enjoying one of my daily reveries when i noticed that there was a teensy bit of fecal matter wedged high on the wall of the toilet bowl that i'd spotted (with mild disgust, but hey, it's a toilet) the day before.

the stubborn little bugger had avoided being swept away in the constant flushing of a day and a half. i wondered what kept it hanging out through such adversity. i wondered who had left it. i wondered if the wee bit of crap missed its former human host. was that why it was sticking around? it was hoping for a reunion of sorts?

which gave me an idea for an animated tv show. the star would be a piece of heather locklear's excrement. not unlike mr. hanky of south park fame, it would speak and think and emote as it carried on a quest to reunite with the blonde bombshell tv star who gave it "life." i think it would learn a lot of valuable lessons along the way, too. and would wear a small hat.

the reason i picked ms. locklear is that i remember once on the howard stern radio show, she'd mentioned that she goes number two about four times a day. that kind of productivity astounded me...and hence the factoid stuck with me...along with howard's comeback: "so that's why you wear all those short skirts on melrose."

i know it's pretty gross, but i swear there's something in this show idea. i was thinking it could be called shit city.

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