2001-08-22 | 7:10 p.m.

corduroy licorice's mom once talked his ear off. she mocked the poor piece of aural anatomy with chides and inane banner until it shimmied off the side of his head and ran away in a frenzy of distress. that ear was never heard from again.

***

well, online dating boy has risen from the undead. a date has been proposed for saturday DAY. no nightly outing for this reverse vampire. i should have noticed his strange addiction to the sun. the way he gorged himself on garlic dishes. the way he poked himself in the chest with wooden toothpicks and cackled in glee. he says he doesn't want to be rude staying out late when he is relying on the kindness of the friends providing his temporary housing.

ok, i'll buy that for a dollar...but he'd better pick up the lunch tab.

***

dude, i just realized how ironic it is that george hamilton, the tannest man on earth, was cast as a vampire, who by trade cannot see the light of day. i'm sure i was the last person on earth to get that bit 'o' UV irony.

***

you know how sometimes you put on an album and the music fits your mood so exactly you reach a kind of nirvana? that happened to me today. and that is why music is the only drug i crave.

i was stressed and needing to feel some "sisters doing it for themselves" power in my veins. i put on jill scott's debut album called who is jill scott?and her funky smarts were just killing me, in a good way. honey, this girl throws down something serious.

check out these lyrics from "exclusively" (by jill scott and jeff townes)...their words deliver that padded punch in the gut of real-life recognition...elevating the mundane into emotion.

...at the market the people were pushin' and shovin'
trying to be the next in line but the turn was mine
the new girl at the counter was...cute
not as fine as me
was this women's intuition?
some kind of insecurity?
naw, cuz my man is happy at home loving me exclusively
so i shook my head "what's up?"
she smiled and rung me up
orange juice $3.29
croissants $4.85
she sniffed
butta 89 cents
she sniffed
strawberries $1.50 a pint
she sniffed and sniffed and sniffed again and then replied "raheem, right?"
"right."

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