2001-08-14 | 5:34 p.m.

corduroy licorice liked to get down to brass tacks...an electronica group from belgium.

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online dating boy update (a.k.a. a nod to the clod)

well, well, well. wouldn't you know it. now online dating boy is being all peaches and herb, ashford and simpson, sending solid as a rock clues that he's working to get reunited...but it feels so weird.

signing e-mails "xoxoxoxo," the binary code of affection. on, off, on, off emotional reinforcement. mentioning, "oh, i'll remember that you like that as a christmas gift idea."

i'll say it again, "what the funk?"

and you know what the sad thing is? as his baggage compartment continues to swell with excessive carry-ons, i'm becoming strangely more attracted to him. human fixer-uppers with curb appeal are my weakness. i get all martha stewart on them.

"we can wash out these bottles of sour milk and turn them into charming vases to tuck into corners about the house for a bit of gerber daisy sunshine."

"what? your parents' divorce during your toddler years left you rife with intimacy issues?! what you need is a couple of emotional throw pillows to spruce up your relationship corner! i'll fix you right up!"

it's a bad thing.

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