2001-03-16 | 05:52:32

corduroy licorice once cut off his nose to spite his face. boy, was his face pissed!

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thursday night i walked out of work about 8 p.m. and started psyching myself up to go running when i got home. instead i was greeted in the parking lot by lock, stock and two smoking co-workers. one of them was the infamous on-the-sly diary reader, tv zero. he invited the other two of us out for dinner and offered to pick up the tab! hmmm...running or free dinner with two fun people...hmmm...it is kinda cold out...and it's not so safe to run past 9 p.m. ok. done deal!

we had a yummy mexican food dinner and i got to hear boy talk between the guys. ahaha! they were discussing which women they were attracted to at work. they pretty much wanted to nail all of them. just like harry in when harry met sally said. it cracks me up and delights me to peer into this mystical world of male thought. i guess i've got a "one of the boys" demeanor that makes them feel at ease enough to say stuff like "that guy gets so much p*ssy" to me without a trace of self-consciousness. i dig it. heh heh.

it was a good feeling to be hanging out with two special friends who i get to work with! i felt the same way one day this week after going to lunch with ascension. just a good, smiley, content, thankful feeling that i have such cool friends brightening my world.

i'm a lucky duck.

you know, embarassing revelation: i've been feeling sorry for myself for all kinds of reasons lately. i've been wondering a lot about what the point of life is. it's odd. i'm not thinking suicidal thoughts in the typical, desperate and desolate sense. i'm not even thinking suicidal thoughts in the how-will-i-do-it, head-in-the-oven specifics. i'm just thinking "would being 'gone' from life really be that bad?" at times, i like the idea of blinking it all away. no more rude people, no more routine, no more stress.

i feel ridiculous having these thoughts when i consider how relatively pain-free my life is. i don't even have to watch the news to see people suffering 20x more than me. i just have to look to a couple of my close friends who are going through nightmarishly bad times right now to realize i should shut the hell up and appreciate all the good things in my life.

so this is me, shutting the hell up. to quote ellen degeneres...my point, and i do have one, is that being with friends like the ones above and others (you know who you are, lovelies) makes me realize how good life is. they give me hope with the smallest of gestures. god bless you, every one!

luv, nictate

p.s. sorry about the self-pity and whining. i guess i'm a closet drama queen. bottom line: i'm a lucky duck. quack!

***

winks of the day:

i found lisa's journal because she wrote a list for girlboy. i love the design and her writing is wonderful as well! plus, she digs radiohead. say no more!

the delightful ms. twiggle has turned herself into a one-woman redevelopment agency for diaryland and is offering to design diary layouts for interested parties. there is a request form at the link above if you're interested in twiggle-fying your page! she did my lovely winkiness, as well as esol's, shaela cat's and baggage's site design. she's really got a knack for capturing personalities. basically, she rocks the house. yay, twiggle!

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