2000-10-07 | 06:10:36

wake up call on line one!

hi. hello. yeah. uh-huh. got it. finally. you betcha.

yeah, so, my whole "glorified booty call" trajectory has been reined back in. whew!

thanks to the cautions of friends and a rude little awakening from one of my potential booty calling circle members, i'm back on track. check that libido at the door, baby baby.

i guess i will just need to channel all that sexual energy in another direction. like, say, running to drop some of that liposome action on my belly region. yeah. see, that way i'll be all toned and honed for when it's time to really answer the let's-get-it-on phone.

ahhh, good. i feel better now.

sure, i may seem schizo to you. back and forth on the whole in and out issue. talking smack about how i don't "want more" from a guy right now. just a f*ck friend, as they say in the industry. i don't know why i had to use an asterisk back there. the word just seemed especially harsh in that context.

i'm just not cut out for it. i'm a demanding little brat when it comes to one-on-one, male-female closeness. maybe old-fashioned is the word. maybe up-tight is the word. maybe careful is the word.

it was a combination of things that ran the coffee esters under my nose today. first, the e-mail feedback of friends. all guys! go figure. i thought the guys would be on my side on the pro-booty call stance, but only one gave it a marginal thumbs up. the rest discouraged it, in very thoughtful, sensitive ways. wow! what a nice discovery. sensitive, thoughtful guys! ahhh. that was worth all those ants in my pants to discover that.

then came the camel-back-breaker. one of the potential round-the-way boys on my radar demonstrated his carelessness today. all it was? he said he had a date. no foul there. WE aren't dating. but that statement made me sit up and take notice. all his ever-increasing, ever-forward flirtations with me had implied that he had no other irons in the fire, see? so it was a semi-shock to hear the words said so nonchalantly. i know, i know. all he's doing is keeping his options open. hell, that's what dating's all about, but when i finally noticed how easily--and carelessly--he turns his attentions on and off, i knew that that he is no one i should get naked wit, yo.

at first i was bummed. feeling sorry for myself. then embarassed at how close i got to "going there." then glad that the epiphany had come when it did. as my friend jean would say, the universe was sending me a message. the message winging its way through outer space to my waiting ear drums? "keep your knees together, girl!"

speaking of carelessness, it has occured to me that this is a rampant condition in the male species. it is related to the "i like you, but..." virus.

so many guys are careless. about girls' feelings. about girls' needs or wishes. even in the simplest ways. a loss of chivalry to be sure. mtv-quick-twitch, attention-deficit-syndrome fall-out, maybe.

over the past year, i have been interested in a handful of guys. all of them great, funny, smart, attractive...and careless. at one moment, they acted as if i was the greatest thing since the beatles. the next moment, i was white noise in their world. the switch flipped on and off with stunning regularity and lack of apology.

i even called one of them on it. i told him, "sometimes i feel so important to you, and other times not signficant in your life at all." his painfully honest response: "you may be right."

of course i was right. and that's why he was wrong for me. that's why each of them has been wrong for me. it's so frustrating when there is so much to like about them, too! but carelessness is a total deal-breaker. it has to be, because carelessness comes later in relationships naturally. taking each other for granted happens. if you start out careless, that don't leave much room for decline, see?

i'm not requesting to be someone's total focus. downtime is always encouraged. but carelessness ain't. a little common courtesy, yaknow? a little more consistency and concern.

carelessness is what relegated all those boys to glorified booty call consideration vs. boyfriend potential. and now, due to my new awakening, they ain't nevah gonna get it--to quote en vogue.

tonight, i was playing an old vhs tape of an episode of "thirtysomething." i used to love that show. i was in my 20s when it was on the air and i considered it a "how to" for my upcoming 30s. the writing and acting were just amazing.

so anyway, one of my favorite episodes is a cinderella-themed show. melissa and ellen, the two struggling single women, resorted to a video dating service. while this is going on, a cute, much younger painter is redoing melissa's apartment. (i wonder whatever happened to that actor. he was a doll. *gurgle*) they flirt. he likes her. she thinks he's too young. he is. but who cares?! the writers even go so far as to have him find a pair of men's shoes in her apt. she can't remember whose they were. he tries them on. they fit. they kiss. good stuff!

obviously, the romantic in me who never gets tired of seeing that episode would not be able to detach enough to have a friendly fling. obviously. like, duh!

today with the back-up of my friends' comments, i knew i had deselected booty call waiting. that train don't stop here anymore.

tomorrow, i go running.

***

the antidote to booty calls? true love. for an itemized checklist on the subject, click on over to girlboy.diaryland to see what scuba gal wants from her diver dan... plus, check out her diaryland page. that girl can write something fierce. a sweet, smart, romantic new voice that i totally dig.

***

just because they're such cool guys, i wanted to share what some e-friends said on the subject of booty calls. kinda an open forum. i'm waiting to link a couple of them until after i get their "ok."

boy #1, rhetoric, says:

"and might i share my (humble?) opinion. i too agree that at least one person usually ends up wanting more than just a "booty call" (be it "glorified" or otherwise.) and while i guess if both of you ended up wanting more, that'd be fine, seemingly anyways. however, karma is rarely that sweet, and it will probably end up being only one of the two of you. then again, i agree that it is usually the female who seeks attachment, and you don't really want that, so i agree that the odds are better that such a 'call' could potentially work. personally i would wait, but then again, i'm not you. so have fun whichever way you end up going, more importantly perhaps, good luck."

boy #2, baggage says:

"I was the one who wanted more from A-and she had to remind me that sometimes more isn't necessarily better. So I just sort of went along for the ride even though I realized that one night soon, she was going to climb out my bedroom window and never come back. In the end, I was hurt. And I missed her terribly. But, at the same time, we never got together to stay together so I had to realize that asking more from her was grossly unfair.... Now whether or not you and/or the very, very lucky boy unit will have a similar understanding when it comes time to take the toothbrush home is hard to predict. You should be careful-you may be the one who ends up wanting more."

boy #3 snuffy says:

"(one warning - the risk is actually just as high of it being the guy [who wants more]...) it can and does work just fine, sometimes... and even when it doesn't work out, it doesn't have to be that bad..."

and the boys from the previous booty call entry, for old time's sake:

boy #4, esol says:

"I think your friend's right, though-it's rarely ever worth it, and to be honest, the type of sorta booty call you're talking about never happens that way- one or the other person always wants more. But good luck either way- I'll cheer for ya!"

boy #5 says:

"in regards to your last entry : friends let friends have flings. why don't you just get a boyfriend?! I've seen the photos, the proof is in that pudding, me thinks your really just nervous about getting into that scene. at least have sex with that guy who wanted to crash on your couch. no, i wasn't refering to myself, but hey, i could totally get into the 'male gigolo for hire' role : all across america : women flying me out to different cities : business class. nothing to declare. business. no luggage cuz i'll be outfitted with new clothes : a new look to fit the expectations of each client."

***

thanks for keeping me outta trouble, blokes! mwwaaaaa!

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