2003-09-18 | 11:15 p.m.

corduroy licorice decided not to join the christmas candlelight program rehearsals. he knew with his outsized fear of fire he couldn't hold a candle to save his life.

***

i feel sorry for j-lo. oh, i'm sure she's a diva bitch in juicy terry. but still. it must be hard for someone who has her bronx-born hand in every category except bulk food to not be able to have her way in love.

and did afflecktion ever make an ass of himself. gambling and strippers and mom's apron strings. how can someone so committed to his addictions not be equally committed to a person? 'tis a grand irony, to be sure.

i guess lady luck is a hotter date than lady-lo.

***

a quote from the latest us magazine:

"i'm my worst critic. well, i don't know about my worst critic."
- mariah carey.

i hope she realizes how funny that was.

***

vacation countdown: two weeks to sugary cupcakes and starchy hotel sheets in nyc. big pimpin' with my homie. living la vida lopez, pre-ben.

<----������� ---->