2004-08-29 | 9:48 p.m.

the label on my banana-scented daily hair conditioner quotes mark twain:

"always do right, this will gratify some and astonish the rest."

***

today, on my way to buy banana-scented daily hair conditioner, a pony-tailed woman in a old volvo wagon was stopped in front of me at a red light. her lone bumper sticker read:

work like you don't need the money
dance like no one's watching
love like you've never been hurt

while i was trying to figure out what working like you don't need the money would look like, she tossed a cigarette butt out her window.

i have a real problem with litterers in general, but especially with litterers who try to shove platitudes down my throat along with their exhaust fumes and trash. with that in mind, i'd like to suggest an addition to ms. volvo's bumper missive:

work like you don't need the money
dance like no one's watching
love like you've never been hurt
smoke like the surgeon general was dishonorably discharged

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