2004-03-03 | 11:11 p.m.

as corduroy licorice departed his buddy john's house, john asked if corduroy could loan him a joint and an umbrella. corduroy considered it, but decided he'd rather not leave his friend high and dry.

***

msn.com always has stupid headlines, but these two from today take the cake:

"oldest man actually not that old"

"hot hair: would jennifer aniston's bangs flatter your face?"

well, i'm sure her lovely locks would frame my countenance in a complementary light--but my god, can we really ask her to give them up during this period of turbulent transition? i mean, she's already struggling with the fact that she isn't going to show up at work with her five best friends (outside of brad) every day anymore. who am i to ask her to forego her forelock for a fortnight while she grows it back in? ok, maybe if she was doing a physically transforming monster type role where it would be imperative that she have her widow's peak within full view of any passerby at all times. maybe then. maaayyyybe. but i don't see that happening. i can't think of any parts that would require a visible widow's peak right off the top of my head, so why should she give three inches off the top of hers, i ask you?

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