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2003-09-03 | 11:17 p.m.

corduroy licorice was watching tv and came across a cable channel that only featured the work of michael jackson, richard simmons and robin williams. its name was "the old boy network."


a friend of mine has an adorable 2 1/2 year old son. she recently told me how much she and her mom got into watching the most recent american idol. her toddler was swept up in the ryan seacrest-fanned fever pitch, too.

then one day out of the blue, he looked at his mom and pronounced:

"mama, you big and fat like ruben."

sure, she wants to lose a few pounds, but she ain't as a big as the 405.

as she wondered how to react to this zinger, he seemed to sense more needed to be said. fast.

"mama, you good like ruben, too."

she found a little solace in that thought. but still. she decided to inquire further.

"so i'm not tall and skinny like clay?"

"no," he said, shaking his head thoughtfully.

"and i'm not cute with spiky hair like ryan?"


finally she gave up. resigned to her rug rat's designated pigeon hole for his maternal unit.

"i've been called rubenesque," she sighed to me, "but this is ridiculous."

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take a peek at these - (c) 2000-2003 nictate:

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