2003-07-17 | 11:15 p.m.

corduroy licorice felt that bad poets should be punished for their literary crimes. not hard time, just community service cleaning gum off of bus stop benches or something. his proposal represented a bold new breed of poetic justice.

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it wasn't until i was reading a magazine's series guide to my super most favorite tv show sex and the city that i realized that carrie's off-and-on love interest mr. big's real name has never been revealed on the show.

i'd never even thought about it, but now i've seen a couple of older episodes where he's being introduced to someone and both times they slyly avoid actually saying his name by suddenly spilling coffee on him or ordering a refill of his scotch and soda.

it's kinda like hiding an actress's real-life pregnancy by making her stand behind counters or carry a log over her lap. i said "kinda."

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