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2003-06-17 | 11:16 p.m.

corduroy licorice passed gas as he scooped up two cups of flour to make a batch of homemade chocolate chip cookies.

measured twice. cut once.


don't hold this against me, but i watched part of an episode of the painfully awful game show dog eat dog. the thing is, this goth guy won! it was so cool to see a goth guy dominate in a cheesy chain of events against a white bread line-up of competitors. making it even better, he had neither the benefit of physical strength or mental agility. he was just one lucky black-eyelinered bastard. nice.


quoted in a recent issue of entertainment weekly:

"i've never cared more about something i couldn't care less about."
- jimmy kimmel on the american idol finale.

"for a curmudgeonly wretch who's suffered four heart attacks and lacks any capacity for joy, dick cheney is riding high..."
- jon stewart on the daily show


while watching a tape of curb your enthusiasm that d-girl loaned to me, i was thinking, "that larry david is one damn funny asshole. i wish i could have a romantic relationship with such a damn funny asshole." then i remembered, oh yeah. i already did. desert storm.


i found out who my secret admirer is!

it's a she.

and before you start warming up for some hot lesbian action, i must temper your enthusiasm with the fact that she is not after me in a sexual way. she has a boyfriend for that.

yes, the gift of the amelie cd was from mon ami amber. merci beaucoup, you!

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