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i was trying to figure out the difference between an "ex-boyfriend" and an "old boyfriend." is "ex" only used for the most recent? is "old" only used for those you remember fondly or at least neutrally?

well, an ex-boyfriend of mine e-mailed me out of the blue to ask me for relationship advice. this is the fella who told me that i owed him $2.50 at the end of our first date. believe me, i was surprised his girlfriend and he had made it this far.

his note was pathetic enough to make me sympathetic. it was obvious he was all twisted up in the game over a heated argument they'd just had about marriage. she was for it. him? uh-uh. his words on the matrimonial state: "i have enough problems." (he's always been a little ray of sunshine.)

i tried to offer him advice in my best dang abby voice. it will probably only serve to annoy his stubborn self. will he write back or write me off?

to vote that he will respond, dial 1-800-EX-SUCCUMBS

to vote that he won't respond, dial 1-800-EX-SAYZSHUDDUP

please note: there will be a $2.50 per minute charge for each phone call (and he ain't seeing none of it).

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