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2003-02-11 | 7:56 p.m.

corduroy licorice talked until he was blue in the face. he always got a little nervous when getting his face painted in the team colors before a big game and would chat with the make-up artist to calm his nerves.

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i hate the way they talk on the the gilmore girls. i don't think any real people talk that way. and if they do, please don't ever let them get within edamame-throwing distance of me.

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yay for talk to her getting two oscar nominations! more would have been nice, but two'll do. pedro rules.

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last night was a first date with another online fellar. oddly enough, it went pretty well! when he asked about my other online dating experiences, i regaled him with tales of "effeminate guy" and "cheap guy." little did i know the "cheap guy" story would reap rich returns when the check came.

when i offered to chip in, he said, "are you kidding? after that story? no way."

by the time i got to my car, the sore throat that had been nagging me all day was starting to make me sound like carol channing. so i took advantage of the moment and sang, "diamonds are a girl's best friend" all the way home. needless to say, feverishness had set in by then.

today i called in sick to work feeling symptoms that resemble what it must feel like to get shot with an elephant gun. now i sound like marge simpson.

during my sick bay reading, i came across a couple of funny quotes in an entertainment weekly magazine article about a new reality-based show called are you hot? the search for america's sexiest people.

they were auditioning hot hopefuls in l.a. and the journalist interviewed some people waiting in line.

a 22-year-old former abercrombie and fitch male model had this to say: "hotness is pretty much physical. you're not going to talk to some girl that's ugly. i don't usually date girls long enough to know their personalities anyway."

which leads me to this question: can someone without a personality actually recognize one in another person?

then they interviewed the creator of the show, mike fleiss (coincidentally sharing the last name and apparent pimping abilities of heidi). he is the man who brought us who wants to marry a multi-millionaire?, the bachelor and the bachelorette.

he had this to say about the latter show: "i did it because abc wanted it, but i didn't think guys would watch. one day we were taping the bachelorette and i was up at the guys' house watching the dudes, when all of a sudden there were five of them in the hot tub. i thought, this is wrong. wrong in the wrong way."

clueless people doing and saying dumb things. this, my friends, is the magic of reality entertainment.

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take a peek at these - (c) 2000-2003 nictate:

health tip
2005-03-16

health tip
2005-03-16

moving house
2004-11-19

quibbling with quitherfeather
2004-11-17

catcher in the wry
2004-11-16