2002-12-18 | 6:54 p.m.

corduroy licorice was once offered a modeling contract to be "the face" of a major brand of facial tissue, but decided to keep his nose out of his business.

***

online dating update:

bachelor #3, the one suspected of fat-free loafer-ness, has disappeared into the proverbial woodwork. it is all for the best, i'm sure, but i do feel bad about making a-d-d-chick and her crew go to all that gaynalysis trouble. little did i know that all i had to do was check the relative length of his index finger. i discovered that thanks to an entry by lesbianrobot about a recent study that found a tie between index vs. ring finger length and sexuality. it's a handy--ahem--rule of thumb that i may need to use in future orientation determination sessions.

i haven't picked anyone else from the online dating line-up since #3, but i'm finally coming to grips with the fact that the 30-34 category of men offers a much more appealing selection to me than the 35-39 one. i keep trying to be more age appropriate in my searches, but with little luck.

perhaps it's my own immaturity or a fear of getting older, but guys hovering near or just past 40 look more like dads than dates to me. i've always liked younger guys and seemingly vice versa, so perhaps i shouldn't fix what ain't broke. a man who is my junior seems to be the direction my index finger is pointing.

<----������� ---->