2002-12-02 | 7:42 p.m.

corduroy licorice was bad to the bone. first he stomped on it. then he and his brother twisted it mercilessly until it snapped in two. hey, thanksgiving tradition is thanksgiving tradition.

***

the u.n. arms inspectors in iraq have stumbled across a troubling discovery. evidently, hussein is overseeing the production of massive amounts of pretzels.

***

it's that time again. after hours at work when a lady here calls her mom back east. i'm wondering how long it will be before she launches into her weekly beration about something dumb or clueless her mom has said or done.

"hellooooo, mom! helllooooo! that's how people get jobs. by networking. hellooooo!"

***

speaking of moms, mine writes these really cute e-mails without even realizing it. here's an excerpt from today's:

"have you heard of a saxophone player called kenny g? they have been having him on advertisements for an xmas cd. it is good. i think he may be misoriented sexually. ha."

***

this weekend was four delicious days long. the kind of weekend you could stretch out on and let your stockinged feet dangle off the end of.

something christmas clicked within me this weekend, which resulted in the humming of holiday tunes and the garnishing of my front door with festive garland. serious gift shopping has commenced--a remarkably smooth transition from my everyday serious shopping.

i also saw some movies: solaris and rodger dodger in the theater. the birthday girl and betty blue on video.

solaris was just so-so. it created an interesting, spacey-in-space feeling, but i really wasn't in the mood to watch jello set. the female lead was cool-looking...for the first 45 times they focused on her face. and i don't know what jeremy davies thought he was doing. his little mannerisms were a bit too self-consciously offbeat to be bought. i didn't feel for clooney's dilemma at all. a stylish petri dish of a film with this apparent takeaway: "better living through suicide."

rodger dodger is slickly written, but without much of a soul. there were some zinger lines as campbell scott learns his young nephew in the ways of hamhanded seduction over the course of a sweaty-palmed night, but in the end, the film was a forgettable one-night stand. (or so i've heard.)

i'd seen betty blue years ago, but rented it again because bachelor #3 had mentioned it in his profile. i figured it might help me decipher him a bit more. it was a film very much worth a revisit. it's terribly tragic, but i'd forgotten its wry sense of humor. quite a lovely love story.

the birthday girl was a fun surprise. i'd heard mixed things about it and had actually tried to see it twice in the theater, but was denied due to misprinted show times on both attempts. nicole kidman is terrific in the role of a mail order russian bride and i got such a kick out of ben chaplain's delightfully measured performance as a man who can't believe his life is unraveling before his eyes. two thumbs up, comrade.

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