2002-11-21 | 6:37 p.m.

corduroy licorice slammed his father with a law suit. he would often throw garments at his folks without provocation. how he got his hands on an attorney's business suit was the only surprising component of the incident.

***

i was standing in line today at the 99-cent store, the one point in the universe where i feel filthy rich knowing that my basketful of goods is only going to set me back $20. the portly woman in front of me in line asked for a flat of bottled water to be carried to the check-out for her by one of the staff.

once she paid and took her water to go, the cashier leaned towards me conspiratorially. she put her palm up to her mouth and whispered sternly, "she should be able to carry something hersef, she's so big. she's just too fat." then she turned back to scanning my sundries. stone cold serious throughout.

just today, a coworker told me, "people like to talk to you in line. i've noticed."

i guess that's my superhero skill: checkout confessionals.

there's a reality-based tv show in there somewhere.

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