2002-11-01 | 7:32 p.m.

corduroy licorice had to shit or get off the pot. his marijuana use was making him very constipated.

***

i heard on the news that certain priests in l.a. have been complaining that cardinal roger mahoney's managerial style is "too paternal." geez, guys, maybe you should quit calling each other "father" every minute then.

***

my frida kahlo costume was muy bueno. i got a lot of compliments and several people recognized who i was right off. the unibrow was the best clue. i realized that there's something very elegant about that endless eyebrow--not that i'm planning to incorporate the look into everyday life or anything.

a few people took issue with my decision to go mustache-less. i really didn't feel it was an important part of frida's look, but they disagreed heartily. i guess i have a facial hair threshold that a mustache would have violated. hey, my lip, my choice.

***

i'm behind on my movie reviews, people. here's the scenario:

real women have curves was a very charming, low-budget, slice-of-latino-life film. one reviewer thought they were complimenting it by calling it "...the next my big fat greek wedding." it's an interesting comparison. both films illustrate the sometimes suffocating effect of culture and tradition on younger generations. the difference is that mbfgw was a slapstick slap in the face to greek americans, and blew in ways that cannot be charted by current seismic instrumentation. rwhc, on the other hand, has a light touch and frames its characters flaws with tlc. the garcia family feels very real, as does the glimpse into their lives and struggles in east l.a. it's a sweet, small, heartwarming film that proves to the swollen and flatulent mbfgw that less is mas.

next up, bowling for columbine, the newest film by michael moore, which puts america's rampant gun violence in its sights. i think tv zero summed it up well by saying, "it's great to watch propaganda you agree with." moore's definitely preaching to my choir, and his humor guarantees smart laughs throughout.

the only thing i was disappointed in was the sloppiness of some of his arguments. when he spins information without backing his points up, he's no better than dubya with his iraqi shell game. don't get me wrong, i'm a big fan of moore and am grateful that he is out there fighting the good fight.

my favorite part of the film was the interview with marilyn manson, who made some very impressive points behind those duotone contact lenses. moore's strongest message overall was accusing the nightly news of marketing fear--i'd never fully realized how true that is.

in summary, the more i know about america, the more i want to move to canada--the great unlocked north.

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