2002-09-23 | 5:43 p.m.

corduroy licorice's dream was to one day earn a dual medical degree. that way, as a psychiatrist and proctologist, he could take care of odds and ends.

***

i had the pleasure of viewing a wonderful french movie this weekend called 8 women. set in the late 50s in a snow-covered countryside mansion, it stars an octet of france's leading actresses (including the still stunning catherine deneuve). the film is a mix of mystery, farce and musical and pits these lovely ladies against each other as they try to solve the murder of the head of the household--their husband, father, brother, son-in-law, brother-in-law or boss, depending on which gal you're talking about.

each actress gets a star turn in her own musical number, which reveals the way she looks at life. my favorite was the song and dance done by the adorable, hayley mills-ish teen ludivine sagnier--although firmine richard's soulful song about everyone being alone brought a tear to my eye. the whole cast is divine. the bitchiness, tenderness and seductiveness are woven together in a hilarious, refreshing fabric as enticing as the gorgeous eye bon-bon of the signature costuming.

writer/director francis ozon based the film on a play from the 1960s written by robert thomas. 8 women definitely has the look and feel of a play. the house it takes place in is obviously a set, but that adds to the enjoyment. it's almost as if the home serves as a picture frame for the real art (and mystery) of the film--those amazing eight flowers of french feminity.

***

i got my hair cut this weekend. shorter than it's been for awhile. now i look even more like miranda on sex and the city--not my favorite comparison, i tell you what. i do like the mix of run lola red with strategic blonde streaks. puts me in mind of the fifth element.

as i sat in the salon chair on saturday, twisting my just-shorn locks, i began to regret the move. boys prefer long hair, i thought forlornly. then i started running through a list of those considered the great beauties of our day--j-lo, gwyneth, jennifer aniston, julia roberts, catherine zeta-jones, your garden variety super models--and realized that all of them have hair past their shoulders. they must know something! sure, j-lo had close-cropped hair in that one movie, but only when she was trying to disguise herself from a stalker ex-husband. with no stalker ex on my back, why had i given in to my militant stylist's fashion manifesto?

the next day i was walking down the sidewalk and saw two twelve-year-olds riding bikes on the sidewalk perpendicular to mine. they were hunched down low behind their handlebars and dressed in black. "here comes trouble," i thought, pausing to let them pass. the girl rider, in a black sweatshirt (hooded) and gold earrings (hooped), looked up at me as she rolled by with a sullen face.

"your hair is ADORABLE," she announced, completely deadpan. "i LOVE it."

"nice chucks," her male counterpart called back over his shoulder as they pedaled off (refering to my converse sneakers).

i've obviously stumbled across the newest version of youth gone awry...drive-by complimenters. they probably continued down the block tossing out flattery as they cruised the neighborhood: "cute poodle you got there, lady." or "tasteful landscaping, mister. i like what you've done with the rhododendron."

needless to say, i was walking a bit lighter in my chucks as i continued on my walk. why, i felt downright pixie-ish.

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