2002-05-30 | 5:53 p.m.

corduroy licorice couldn't put his finger on what was bothering him. the offending pimple was located in a region of his back that he couldn't reach with his hand.

***

the most oxymoronic headline of the week:

"new reality show to feature anna nicole smith"

here is a quote from the article:

"no one will ever believe it, but we started thinking about this project before 'the osbournes' hit. obviously when that show came in, ours became a much better idea to us," said mark sonnenberg, e! executive vp of entertainment.

the series will follow smith, her teenage son, her attorney and her assistant in their not-so-everyday los angeles-based life.

"five minutes of life through the eyes of anna nicole is more fascinating than an entire lifetime for some people," sonnenberg added. "she packs a lot in."

you bet your sweet bippy, she does.

***

please join me in welcoming a fresh new face and voice to the diaryland milieu. her name is a-d-d-chick and her take on the world is positively charming...just like she is in real life.

in this entry she describes a moment with her boyfriend that just cracked me up. she also shares some cool poetry, muses on gaydar and illustrates how to turn life's frustrations into entertainment.

there is a backstory with this se�orita. she and i became friends in a most circuitous way. way back when, she was desert storm's (my deservedly maligned ex-boy's) next door neighbor while he and i were dating. for several months, she was just "the neighbor girl who said hi in the stairway" to me until ds started getting a bit weird about things.

he was evidently trying to create some sort of triangle to make me jealous of her. she was unaware of his machinations. take my word for it, he did some wack stuff to get me rattled. i began to sense that he was developing a crush on her and got jealous, little knowing that that was his intent all along. when i got upset about it once, he angrily told me that i couldn't control who he was friends with. then he secretly confided in her that i didn't like her at all. when we broke up, he told me, "my friends don't feel comfortable around you and my neighbor thinks you hate her." i was flabbergasted. whaaaa?!

after the break-up, i wanted to write her a note to let her know how badly i felt about his twisting of the truth, but then i figured a letter sent from a neighbor's ex would have a stalker-y feeling to it. about six months after the end, i got invited to a random happy hour by a co-worker. when i arrived, i discovered a-d-d-chick was the hostess! she looked a bit taken aback to see this girl who apparently hated her walking into the bar.

that night, we made pleasant small talk until i had to burst out and apologize to her. she was really cool about it and told me that it was brave of me to tell my side of things. then she invited me to keep coming to her monthly get-togethers. over time, we really hit it off and started hanging out as friends, even working on a book project together (until i flaked out on her).

so now, years after desert storm, the guy i loved is a prickly memory and the girl i was threatened by is one of my closest, cherished friends. funny how life works, aye? now, thanks to diaryland, you can enjoy her company like i do, e-style (although i get dibs on margarita outings on school nights with her)!

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