2002-05-24 | 3:39 p.m.

corduroy licorice liked to sweep his problems under the rug. when his mother lifted its fringe one day, she found a pile of negative report cards.

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i got to meet fellow l.a. citizen mr. blue lanugo this week. it's always cool to put faces to URLs. he is a sweet and creative dreamer who will go far with his writing ambitions, i predict. especially now that he's got more time to create since he cancelled his cable TV!

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i got to go to a client party last night and had a few free drinks. i know i'm not the first to realize it, but complimentary alcohol really does a lot to engender a feeling of goodwill in business relations.

i'm not sure which ingredients go into sangria, but i know a very warm and fuzzy buzz comes out of it. �ol�!

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so abercrombie & fitch is in trouble again. last time it was for retro t-shirt designs which were considered to be racist. this time for making thong underwear for little girls with questionable phrases screened upon them like "eye candy" and "wink, wink." people seem offended by the phrases, but hello! the very fact that they're making thongs for kids sounds pretty wacked to me. are little girls really troubled by vpl (visible panty line) syndrome? i would hope they could at least wait until high school to bother themselves with the intricacies of lingerie stress. two thongs don't make a right, a & f.

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"double-talk award of the week" goes to white house counsel alberto gonzalez who asked for the withdrawal of a subpoena planned to be issued to george dubya regarding his administration's contacts with enron. in a letter to the subpoena issuers gonzalez wrote:

'"it would be irresponsible, in my judgment, for my office to commit in advance to provide information to congress before we have reviewed it to assess whether disclosure would be inconsistent with the effective operation and long-term institutional prerogatives of the presidency."

translation, provided by moi:

"i would be royally f'd if i didn't buy more time to cover the president's posterior, as well as my own regarding this enron scandal. if certain compromising information comes out in this investigation, it could really screw up his chances for reelection and my continued employment. in summary, anything less than an immediate withdrawal of this subpoena may be considered an act of terrorism. oooo...i'm good."

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"cutest mom of the week" award goes to my mom for this recent e-mail from her preparing for my upcoming visit:

"hi nictate, please bring your swimming suit in case we go to the pool. we can stay under the big umbrellas if you dont want sun and listen to the fountain and take a nap! that sounds sort of old, but your sister loved it! ha. have a great day. love ya, mom p.s. remind me to show you where the hidden key is. xo"

aww...*sniff*

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