2002-05-16 | 6:29 p.m.

corduroy licorice was taken by storm. she was his favorite superhero.

***

i wish i had musical talents. it seems there are some things, some feelings, that can only be expressed through songs.

some emotions tap into a secret realm that can only be accessed through the indefinable, pixie dust-generating, heart-wrenching, booty-shaking ear voodoo that is music.

no, i can't write music, but i can fake it with lyrics. which puts me in mind of a honky tonk song that i just made up for you folk. i hope you like it mighty fine. thanks to gnoll for helping to inspire the idear (not through his behavior, mind you).

"hold it, there"
by nictate

i walked into a bar one night
looking for some trouble
my lovelife was trailer trashed
a wreck of ruined rubble

a young boy at the bar
slid me down a beer
he gave me the once-over and asked:
what's a pretty thing like you doin' here?

he looked a bit underage to me
my jaded eyes would know
baby fat still lined his cheeks
and his eyes flew no crows

wanna dance? he queried
peering from under his cowboy brim
looking 'round the dive soon told me
the only game in town was him

how old are you, boy? i asked
as he turned me 'round the floor
old enough to detect heat, he sighed
his smile said he'd used that line before

back at the bar, we raised a toast
through shot after shot we plowed
then the kid got a bit outta hand
slurring words and talkin' too loud

next thing, he was asleep on the bar
snoring in his own drool
i knew it was time to take my leave
no time to waste on another fool

i asked the barkeep for a pen
and then scrawled a goodbye
when he woke up and saw me gone
at least he would know why

nice try, boy, i wrote him
but you were way outta your league
let me be real blunt here, son:
if you can't hold your liquor, you can't hold me

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