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2002-05-11 | 5:50 p.m.

corduroy licorice thought aviaries were for the birds.

***

life is pretty freakin' fantastic.

if you knew what had been going down with me over the last few days, you might be surprised that i'd be so ding dilly dang optimistic here and now. i know i'm surprised! heck, maybe it's just the caffeine from my boba thai tea talking, but at this very moment i'm feeling very high on life. sadness has given way to hope and gratitude.

sometimes this rollercoaster ride we're all on together doesn't seem worth it. the stomach-in-the-throat thrills are quickly replaced by click-a-clack-clack knee-rattlin', headbangin' curves. but there is sometimes something very amazing about the highs and lows and how they play off of each other.

that whole yin making you appreciate the yang, yo.

in improv class today, my teacher was having us do scenes that were supposed to have dramatic emotional transitions. one analytical hand-raiser wondered how real-to-life scenes like that would appear to an audience.

"very real-to-life," the teacher answered. "you know how you can be having a shitty day and suddenly your favorite movie comes on the tv and you're totally happy all of a sudden?"

or your favorite song comes on the radio and washes away the workaday stress like an aural calgon bath.

or you find the perfect google picture to juxtapose with someone else's text on blue lanugo.

or you giggle outloud at the sight of the brilliant photo/text combo someone else has made on said site-o-superfun. (tom arnold! most excellent!)

or you read something gloriously sad and beautiful that an old friend has written.

or you realize that no matter what happens, there's always more beauty to uncover, more memories to stash away, and more room in your heart to swell.

or you rewatch an amazing movie and well up with tears when lester burnham remembers lying on his back on the grass in the summer camp sun...or the papery smoothness of his grandmother's folded hands in his last minute's of life:

"i guess i could be pretty pissed off about what happened to me. but it's hard to stay mad when there's so much beauty in the world. sometimes i feel like i'm seeing it all at once... and it's too much. my heart fills up like a balloon that's about to burst. and then i remember... to relax, and not try to hold on to it. and then it flows through me like rain. and i can't feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life. you have no idea what i'm talking about, i'm sure. don't worry... you will someday."

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take a peek at these - (c) 2000-2003 nictate:

health tip
2005-03-16

health tip
2005-03-16

moving house
2004-11-19

quibbling with quitherfeather
2004-11-17

catcher in the wry
2004-11-16