2002-05-06 | 8:16 p.m.

corduroy licorice's mom was pulling the wool over his eyes. a wee claustrophobic, he'd always had a tough time taking off turtleneck sweaters by himself.

***

i saw a great movie this weekend called nine queens. it was one of those cat-and-mouse movies where con artists are doing their thing and you're left to raptly watch the fascinating twists and turns of their mind games.

although the other actors in the film gave good performances, the "bad guy" ricardo dar�n was my favorite to watch. he received the argentinean film critic association's best actor award for the film and deservedly so. actually, the film won 7 awards in that event, including best picture and best director.

set during one 24-hour period, the movie follows two con artists who come across a "one in a million" scam. nine queens was a nicely done, clever movie and i left the theater smiling. a good time was certainly had by me.

(sidenote: when i was describing the film to co-workers today, i discovered that "argentinean" is a satisfying word to say.)

seeing that movie made me want to watch house of games by david mamet again, but the blockbuster store didn't have it. (as far as i could tell after scanning the G-H-I section for about 20 minutes. no one seems to care about alphabetizing anything but new releases anymore. alas.)

good fortune lept out at me when i noticed the david lean version of the film great expectations sitting upon the shelf. since pablo had recommended it highly, i checked it out.

what a lovely film! the story is wonderful, the dialogue a delight, the acting first-rate, the black and white photography a fine delight. a true classic, with luscious melodrama beating in its heart of hearts. bravo!

***

in my improv class, we learn to pantomine as part of our storytelling. we are supposed to start each scene acting out some activity.

this week, a classmate and i were sent up in front with only the "where" of our improv equation. we were supposed to be in a touristy gift shop.

i silently decided i'd be working in the shop, so i pretended to be on the phone behind a counter...the fake receiver up to my ear. he decided to be a shopper, so he was pretending to try on a hat. he looked to me for approval, so i came out from behind my fake counter and told him, "that hat looks great on you!"

"thanks, honey," he answered. "i'm so happy to be here in catalina celebrating our 25-day anniversary with you."

("damn!" i thought. "i was supposed to be working there and now he throws me this plot twist.")

"me, too, sweetie," i replied, trying not to panic, "these have been the happiest 25 days of my life."

"honey," he said, "in honor of our anniversary, i'd like to buy you that puka shell necklace you're trying on there. let me check the price. yeah, i'd spend $18 on you."

then my teacher spoke up from off-stage, "nictate, you were on the phone earlier. we all saw you. now you have to justify why you were on the phone."

um. ok. great. um. yeah. oh!

"sweetie," i began, "i just called ahead to our hotel and asked them to put rose petals on the bed for us."

whew!

i'm really enjoying this class. even though i thought my former teacher was the mouse's tuxedo, and still do, this new chick is pretty darn good. the only thing that bugs is that she calls us "actors." funny thing. even though i'm taking an "acting class," i don't think of myself as an "actor." i have nothing against actors. i just don't want to be called one. there's just too much baggage with that handle.

so we'll be walking around "on-stage" doing our little exercises, and she'll say, "ok, shake that last role off. you're just actors. just vessels. walking around."

each time she calls us "actors" or "vessels," my teeth grit together a bit. i'm not! i'm not! this is just a hobby for me. sure, i'm doing the act of acting, but don't call me that narcissistic-sounding noun!

i ain't your huckleberry and i ain't your vessel. mkay?

i'm pretending! i'm playing!

i'm not an actor, i just play one in class each week.

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