2002-04-18 | 5:30 p.m.

corduroy licorice liked to face the music. especially at concerts. he used to face the audience at shows, but found it to be an unpopular choice.

***

i think i'm funny. i think so. sometimes i make up something funny and then wonder, "is that really my idea or did i conveniently forget that i stole it from someone else?"

so, case in point, here is a joke i think i made up:

"my friend invited me to go see the vagina monologues, but i declined. i've never liked period pieces."

ok. here's another. i'm pretty sure this one's all mine:

"have you heard about the hottest new show on broadway? it's all about men sharing their heartaches. it's called the angina monologues."

***

my friend k-girl invited me to a party on the west-si-hide this last weekend. in da house were two celebrities. (well, my charming party partner r-girl cautioned me on that description. she finds the word "celebrity" to be thrown around a bit too casually. point taken.)

the two quasi-celebs in question were: one of the guys from mr. show and one of the guys from weezer. do i run in hip circles or do i run around my neighborhood for exercise? well, both actually.

i didn't get to speak to either of the not-quite-household-name fellows, but i did overhear the weezer bloke during a tour of the host's abode:

"this place is deceptively small from the outside."

you heard it here first.

***

sometimes when i criticize movies in my journal, i feel a bit guilty. what if, by some odd chance, someone who worked on the film read my dissing? i wouldn't want to make them feel bad for making such a piece of crap, you know?

recently, i was reading a review of the film the cat's meow in the local paper. the reviewer described actress jennifer tilly as "talentless." talentless! that seemed a bit extreme to even pot-shot-taking me.

i personally don't think that jennifer tilly is talentless. she was quite hilarious in bullets over broadway. ok, she's got a bit of a limited range, but talentless? my!

c'mon now, people...is anyone really actually talentless? even the cryonically frozen body of walt disney could keep potato salad cold.

(i think the walt disney line was mine.)

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