2002-04-05 | 4:15 p.m.

cordoroy licorice was barking up the wrong tree. his mom had asked him to attach the artificial tree trunk covering to the weeping willow tree, not the birch. what a crying shame.

***

do you know who he is? woe to those who don't. he can have a waitress sacked in the wink of an eye. in two winks, he could get in her in the sack. of whom do i speak? the divine, sublime pablissimo.

he's been teaching me rhyming slang and i've been showing him the l.a. nightlife. in our "clubbing" journies, we've swerved from swing dancers to lounge singers to hampton braggarts to girls under glass. next up: mexican food. apparently it is underrepresented in the good old UK.

p is for patiently listening to my ramblings

a is for able to leap crowded bars in a single bound

b is for british and bodacious

l is for lovely lad

o is for oh, is this guy hilarious

<----������� ---->