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2002-02-26 | 6:04 p.m.

corduroy licorice would often bite the hand that fed him. he'd just be in too much of hurry to notice that his finger was near his mandible and it'd be teeth-meet-digit time.

that's why he'd only eat burritos when he didn't have anywhere to be.

***

this weeked was an unofficial university alumni fest for me. a friend of mine from college who now lives in georgia came to california to visit for the weekend. her trip inspired a get-together for five of us gals who were kind of a clique in college. we all lived in the same dorm together freshman year and have stayed in touch (in varying degrees) over the years. one of the girls kinda disappeared from our world due to being busy with her kids, but we were able to track her down in time for a mexican feast and some memory defragging.

now, i don't want to shock you with how long it's been since we were in school together. let me just say, as i recall, senator, it was during the reagan administration.
*cough*

our lunch was lots of fun. i brought a photo album from back in the day and one girl brought her adorable one-year-old baby. we all squealed about how little we'd all changed, and then patted ourselves on the back for that. one girl said i looked "hip" with my haircut in a bit of a tense voice. thank you? i think?

as they all gave the update on their husbands and kids, it came to my attention that i was the only one who had neither. it was a moment right off one of those novelty t-shirts with the 50s-style woman clutching her forehead in desperation with the thought bubble: "oh no! i forgot to have kids!"

for a second there, i kind of panicked. it was like one of those dreams where it's finals week and you realize that you didn't go to class all semester. i wondered, where did i mess up and get so far behind in my societal scheduling? then i snapped out of it. i realized that i wouldn't be able to trade places with any one of my former dormmates. i don't know if it's immaturity or personality, but i'm so not ready to be a wife and mom. i think my biological clock is stuck on a dock in customs somewhere. so, i gave myself a break and returned to the enjoyment already in progress.

after lunch, we wandered around a nearby mall just to squeeze in a bit more time together. it was quite cool to think how virginia slims we've been. we've all come a long way, baby, but still have kept a connection between us.

the only bummer of the weekend was that the now southern belle who stayed with me was WAY too nice. ohmigawd. i thought i was going to have to sock her in the kisser. she was so polite and deferring and helpful and apologetic and whiny. criminy! i felt awful feeling so annoyed at such a sweet girl, but she really tested my patience limit...which usually goes up to 11. at one point i thought to myself, "i hope i'm not this nice! if i am, i wish someone would grab me by the shoulders and shake me." then i remembered she'd always been kind of a little old lady...she's just more so now.

the other thing is that she is WAY more conservative than me, so i felt awkward about that...wondering what she'd think about my retro furniture and japanese pop art books. at one point i pointed out a classic car we drove past, saying how cool it was. she responded with nervous giggle and "that looks like something you'd like." ayechihuahua. she noticed some white, lace-up, go-go-type boots i have propped in a corner and asked if i ever wore them. i told her that once in awhile i like to buy vintage clothing. "to wear?" she asked incredulously. i guess the passage of time has just made our differences more glaringly apparent.

***

in other news, i've seen a couple of movies lately: storytelling and italian for beginners. storytelling is one of todd solondz's movies. he also did the embarassingly entertaining and acidic happiness and the very painful coming of age film welcome to the dollhouse. he's known for casting a particularly bitter light on the world. the unfortunate thing is that the ugliness he shows is real-to-life. one mark of his films is that you feel bad for laughing at his twisted take on things. while storytelling was pretty sloppily constructed, i did get a kick out of one or two scenes. especially one with selma blair talking to herself in a restroom. sometimes it's cathartic to laugh at idiotic people. however idiotic, i did dig her character's pink-over-bleached-blonde hair. mike d'angelo wrote a funny review of the film here.

i left the theater after seeing the danish film italian for beginners feeling smiley. it was filmed in the dogme 95 style and the simplicity throughout was refreshing...like a sorbet palate cleanser. with what i knew about the film going in, especially with the bread and tulips-type poster art, i expected it to be a feel-good romantic comedy. that it wasn't...until the ending. there is a lot of sadness in it, but the blend of pain and humor was appealingly real. enough with the charmingly clumsy female characters, though. mkay? they're starting to become more common than plates of glass in car chase scenes.

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