2002-01-17 | 6:07 p.m.

corduroy licorice was sympathetic towards the great unwashed. after all, if someone is truly great, why should their lack of hygiene be an issue? would an albert einstein with heinous body odor be any less a genius? corduroy thought not.

***

just so you kids know...not only olympic dreams can come true.

of late, i've had a thing for cherry lollipops.

cherry tootsie pops, to be brand-specific.

the only snag in the plan was that the lolly bags come as variety packs, and i don't go for the orange, grape and chocolate pops at all. i'm not down with that ish.

so i says to myself, self...wouldn't it be grand if tootsie pops came in flavor-specific packaging?

then i slapped myself to my senses. keep dreamin', you starry-eyed fooligan. that'll never happen. ne-vah.

*cue hushed, reverent tone* but it did.

one day, not so long ago, some marketing whiz-a-ma-gog thought of packaging cherry tootsie pops in their very own pretty-in-pink bags to pimp them just in time for valentine's day.

hooray!!!

as i stepped into the supermarket and faced the cavalcade of red, pink and white love-expressing, food-related merchandise on display for the upcoming day of the cupid, i knew. my dream had become a reality.

i hope you take this to heart, people. your dreams can come true, too. why, just weeks ago, i was a lolly lover down on my luck. but look at me now! leaning on the limo! surrounded by girls in bikinis! flashing my new caps (due to too much sugar consumption)!

take it from me...you, too, can lick the obstacles in your path! to paraphrase casey kasem...keep your feet on the ground and keep reaching for the mass-marketed snack foods.

sweet!

<----������� ---->