2001-12-20 | 6:44 p.m.

corduroy licorice had a heart of gold. as an infant he was one of the first to undergo a rare form of metallurgical organ replacement surgery.

***

i'm terrible, muriel.

i bought this four-pack of mini lemon poppyseed bundt cakes at trader joe's market just because they looked so very pert, lemony and packed with palate pleasure. and were they? hell ya!

i figured...i'll eat one and take the rest to the office so as not to overdo it during this already calorie-laden holiday time.

one bite of that citrus-spiked, moisty cake-a-fied goodness and it was all over. i knew then that these tubular delights would never see the inside of my place of employment. (unless they did a random drug test and caught me with poppy in me pee.)

i know psychologists say that food isn't love, but these desserts are already more satisfying that my last "relationship."

***

remember how yesterday i told you i met pete yorn? not that i'm making a big deal about it by repeating it over and over again or anything.

deal is, remember how i got to vip right past the boy who blew me off in the past? well, guess who e-mailed me today to find out how i got the "in" at the show? that's right, him. mixed message man. and just like my friend c-girl predicted, too. she knew he'd be back. like a cycle of the moon or some shit. when i told her about the e-mail inquiry, she wrote back with this delight:

"ha ha ha ha!� I find that he�has fallen into the predictable category, n'est-ce pas? guys simply can't resist girls who are cooler than they are!"

damn straight. i like how that girl breaks it down for me, fellas.

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