2001-12-18 | 6:15 p.m.

garnering truths from the mouths of babes was corduroy licorice's favorite activity. that's why he was an avid reader of carmen electra and jessica simpson magazine interviews.

***

i'm pissed.

my pissed-offed-ness is reaching critical mass.

spewing well-deserved bile at vanilla sky did little to release the pressure.

why am i pissed?

because i have no anger management skills.

and that's just for starters.

my friend aj-girl told me i should take a self-defense class to learn how to release my anger in a positive way. i'm thinking kickboxing might do me good.

the newest pissiness comes from this: i just heard that this lame client i deal with is going to "lean on me" for writing that goes above and beyond in the future. first of all, i'm the best he'll ever have the pleasure to deal with, second of all, he wouldn't know quality writing if it was implanted in a microchip under his scalp and sent him hourly electronic signals.

absorbing that announcement, i tried to calm my "i hate him! i hate him! i hate him!"-spouting self down by reminding me that he is the only thorn in my workworld side and that i rarely work on his stuff. i must find comfort in this. my other clients are cool. i must calm my shivering timbers! b-r-e-a-t-h-e, self. breathe. dammit. there, that's better.

i'm also pissed because l.a. drivers are so damn rude. i got rear-ended last week (in my car, thank you very much) because this hired car driver guy decided he was in too much of a hurry to stop for a red light. fortunately, there was no visible damage on either car, so the rear-ender and i waved goodbye and went on our adrenaline-rattled ways.

since then i've had a couple of other close calls on the road. people just going too damn fast and being too damn selfish. i do not sit well with the fact that these people's carelessness could impact (literally) me or others in a dangerous way. it sucks giant donkey penis. it makes me want to hole up in my apartment and eat russian tea cookies, 24/7. powdery fingers be damned, i say. powdery fingers be daaaaaaammmmmmnnnneeeeedddd!

i hope i can shake this pissiness soon. or at least channel it in a healthy energy kinda direction. 'taint the season to lose one's reason.

but my attitude ain't all shit on a brick.

the softer side of nictate is anticipating the holidays and a week off from work. i'll get to see my nyc homie and her new man. i'll get to visit my folks with my sister and eat homemade cinnamon rolls in my pajamas. i'll get to see old friends and give gifts and just have a holly jolly time overall. i'll get to catch up on movies (yay! wes anderson!) and remember how cruddy daytime TV is. fa la la! it's been a year of ups and downs, but i'm ready for a fresh, shiny calender to scroll my life across.

and tonight, hoy boy...i'm gonna ho it up dressed in red patent high heels, bootylicious jeans and a vampire chola muscle t-shirt that's just itchin' for a bar fight with my good friend p-girl as we check out pete yorn and his rockin' band (which includes two of our friends...oh yeah) tearing up the house of blues stage. (thanks for getting me on the list, k-girl!)

i'm on the list

so all that feeling pissed

can kiss

my bootilicious bootay

tsk, tsk.

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