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2001-11-30 | 12:01 p.m.

corduroy licorice rode high in the saddle. he enjoyed smoking out before taking his palomino out for a canter.

***

online dating boy update:

so the phone rang late last night, but the machine picked up before i could. no message was left. a typical o.d.b. move. i started feeling queasy. mostly because i don't want to have "the talk." secondly, because of resentment for how he's handled himself with me. getting taken for granted sucks.

then i started feeling guilty for not contacting him. then i thought, um, duh! this is the non-chalant way he's treated me all along...why should i feel guilty for that? oh yeah!

***

last night tv zero organized a movie night with a few of us from work. we went to see in the bedroom.

segments of it were outstanding, but the molasses-slow pace really diluted its power. also, most of the third act felt like it was from a different movie. to get really picky, the last sequence pulling back to see the rooftops of the sleepy town was a total american beauty rip-off. and as tv zero pointed out, the bad guy was too one-dimensional.

ok, now for the compliments. the movie got to me on several levels. first, the sorrow of the parents was played out with bristling, quiet tension. secondly, their disapproval of their son's complicated relationship gave me serious vietnam flashbacks. the filmmakers did a simply breathtaking job of capturing the dynamics between the worried parents and reassuring son...between the sympathetic boyfriend and his girlfriend's needy offspring. the sacrifice of self to rescue others. the price of being weak to keep the peace (hi. note to me!). ok, so the movie made me cry more than once. is that what you wanted to hear?

the lead actor, tom wilkinson, did an amazing job playing a mild-mannered, kind-hearted, yet somewhat ineffectual father. his burdened shoulders and hangdog brow were heartbreaking. even though sissy spacek's character was unlikeable, she turned in a touching, pain-filled performance. marisa tomei pretty much just had to look worried the whole movie, but she still earned her paycheck.

the best parts of the film were the finely detailed moments. the son struggling as he sharpened his pencil with a knife while a plastic pencil sharpener sat within his reach. the dad's helpless look to the mom as he sets down six "king-size" candy bars. (ha! that was a great moment.) there was a very powerful focus on touch: the mother's affectionate, yet warning-loaded hand on her son's arm, her subtly menancing tap-on-the-table greeting, the father's palm patting an empty pillow.

flawed, with moments of brilliance. just like life, i do declare.

***

and now for something completely different...i came across a mini-article in vanity fair about an artist called henry darger. after a tragic childhood, he ran away from the "illinois asylum for feeble-minded children" when he was 16. he spent the rest of his 81 years as a hospital janitor who lived as a recluse, attended mass daily and dug in trash cans for found art. there is a magical primitiveness to his art. i wish i could see the current exhibit at the american folk art museum, but this web site shows some of his hauntingly lovely paintings.

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take a peek at these - (c) 2000-2003 nictate:

health tip
2005-03-16

health tip
2005-03-16

moving house
2004-11-19

quibbling with quitherfeather
2004-11-17

catcher in the wry
2004-11-16