2001-11-28 | 7:21 p.m.

corduroy licorice would often jump for joy. joy would just bust up laughing at the sight of his errant forelock bobbing against his forehead as he bounced up and down on the balls of his feet.

***

online dating boy update:

ok, so i decided to heed my lawyer's advice: "if neither one's gung-ho, you got to let it go."

my technique so far has been "keep a low profile."

i've almost always been the first to e-mail or call, but since last week i've kept my fingers from doing the walking in his direction. so now it's been over a week without a peep from either team. i wonder if he's even noticed that i've dropped out of society. perhaps a wonderment flapped across his brain at some point. he isn't the angsty type, so i'm sure he's not fretting over this.

now it's all about me waiting for the other shoe to drop. he's gonna have to contact me and then what am i gonna say? i'm all weird about hurting people's feelings. i avoid conflict like nobody's business...not the healthiest approach to life, but so far it's been my scaredy cat m.o. keep the peace, sistah!

i've been playing conversational prototypes in my head to see what feels right:

"since we're kinda downshifting into friendship, let's just keep it that way."

"you obviously aren't that into this, so let's just appreciate the fun we had and say goodbye."

"i think i'm looking for a different kind of relationship than you are."

then there's the whole "should i get into his drinking" question. i am worried about his troublesome alcohol reliance and want to be a good friend, but he'd probably just laugh that off.

i don't feel super sad like i usually do at break-up time. although this relationship was so vague, this really couldn't qualify as a break-up. more of a deletion of an obsolete file.

i was talking all this over with my friend p-girl and she had this take on o.d.b. and his wishy washy ways:

p-girl: "he's spineless, man."

me: "and he'll be liverless soon if he doesn't watch it."

p-girl: "you deserve a man with a spine, and a liver and heart and all the parts."

she done spoke the truth, that girl she did.

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