2001-11-01 | 7:01 p.m.

corduroy licorice liked to eat and run. he would jog ten blocks and stop for a hot dog, then jog 10 more and get a piece of pie.

***

well, it was grand being satine for a day. my moulin rouge costume was a hit at the office. i got some "you look amazing"s and a "nice gams." it was hard to type with gloves on, but i liked that extra challenge that the glamour of my garb demanded. i kept my top hat jauntily posed upon my head most of the day, but soon realized it did not accommodate trips to the loo, my darling. i also discovered that fishnet hose are da bomb...not only are they daringly alluring, they are damn comfortable.

***

i was in the crazy check-out lady's line at the drugstore again today. she is an odd bird, no doubt. she likes to announce the price of each item she scans and then offers her rating of the comparative value of said item.

"59 cents. not too bad. $5.79. ouch."

she also likes to make little comments about the sundries each customer proffers for her analysis.

to a man buying 20 6-packs of water:

"ah, so much water. you must be thirsty, my friend."

to a girl with a grab bag of stuff:

"hi honey! oh, picking up some odds and ends, i see."

i was kind of dreading what she'd say about my 2-for-1 sanitary napkins purchase.

"aha, going with the flow, my friend."

luckily i was spared that. instead she announced my total with one of her trademark dog tributes:

"$27.53. all that money for some nice rottweilers. i sure like those rotties."

and to think i almost tried to avoid her line.

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