2001-10-29 | 6:49 p.m.

corduroy licorice lied like a rug. it made his back feel better to sleep right on the floor like that.

***

i wanted to see a lot of movies this weekend and that is what i most certainly did, honchos.

in these movies, i saw an erect penis, a lesbian love scene, a woman masturbating and an orgy. i think hollywood has really come a long way, baby.

the movies in question were: zoolander, intimacy and mulholland drive.

zoolander was really goofy. i left feeling like my friend who raved about it must have been on a taste exchange program with someone in a foreign country operating under a comedy embargo. ok, ok, the movie wasn't that heinous. much like the human body, it did have some funny parts. like the gas station scene. heheh. ok. a couple of moments. but it was no wayne's world.

intimacy was refreshing in that it was very unpretty. it was about a decidely unromantic affair. the sex scenes showed the full monty on both the male and female leads. it wasn't shocking or arousing, it was just starkly and unflatteringly lifelife. in a way, intimacy reminded me of another even better film, which also shines a cold hard light on love and the fantasies we weave around our romantic partners' identities, called sunday. if you ever get a chance to check it out, it's a pretty fascinating, sorrowful tale.

mulholland drive was vintage david lynch. it was similar to lost highway with actors switching identities and dream-to-nightmare red herrings scattered about the story. and, of course, there was the deadpan hilarity.

lead actress naomi watts was just amazing in her transition from sweater set dingbat to fractured femme fatale. justin theroux, who i recognized from a couple of great appearances on sex in the city, did a terrific job as a self-centered film director.

surprisingly enough, the scene that got me the most was an audition in a director's office. the cheesy set-up and clever pay-off dovetailed so masterfully, i was riveted in spite of myself.

cowboy hats off to the lynchster for another great trip through his twisted world. during the film, i was kinda wishing that i lived in lynch's crazy universe instead of ours. as convoluted as his domain can be, it seems more inviting than this one sometimes. cooler, for sure.