2001-10-08 | 7:04 p.m.

corduroy licorice asked his mom to cut him some slack. his new pants were way too long.

***

at times like this, the term "global community" means more to me than ever before. in good ways and bad ways. i can't hide in my first world life anymore. the continental U.S. doesn't feel like a big, safe play pen anymore. that was a reality check i could have done without, but i guess this is all part of becoming an enlightened grown-up. whatever with that!

***

in lighter news, online dating boy finally put out! ok, not actually the full monty or anything, but major progress was made! prone positioning on a mattress! sighful kisses and drowsy cuddling. i even got to hear him snore! good stuff, good stuff. it's been way too long for me. that put a smile on my face for real!

***

my counterpart at work just got back from his leave of absence today. a month and a half, i busted my ass so that he could pursue a dream of his. i got a nice card and some grocery store flowers. do i sound bitter? naaaha. ha! the best part of the day was the shit everyone else at the office gave him about "poor nictate" and all her sacrifices for him. i loved it. he became slightly short-tempered with guilt late in the day, which only made me giggle even more internally. all resentment aside, it's good to have him back shoveling his share of the coal. maybe now i'll go home before 8 p.m. once in awhile! woohoo! plus, my boss, without prompting, said i should take a couple of days off to make up for my overtime. that never happens! woohoo two!

***

i would now like to share one of my favoritest jokes from this annoying "101 elephant jokes" book my then-third-grader sister used to read outloud to gales of laughter (alas, only her own). but this joke was a winner to moi:

Q: "how do elephants hide in cherry trees?"

A: "they paint their toenails red. have you ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree?"

Q: "no."

A: "see, it works."

<----������� ---->