2001-07-11 | 7:17 p.m.

corduroy licorice fed off of his own insecurities. sometimes his agoraphobia would whip up a nice bowl of mac and cheese just in time for buffy.

***

my computer, she still ain't so good, so i update from 'notha machine. no big whup.

***

online dating boy is moving house, so we were talking about what a pain packing is...as in, where did i get all this shit? he was saying he felt like blowing it up and starting over with nothing, but where was he gonna get his hands on some explosives at that hour?

so i says, "don't worry. i know a guy. he runs a moving company and explosives factory. he can pack your stuff or blow it sky-high...your choice. his business's name? "move it or lose it."

***

my last entry said, "do nothing 'til you hear from me." so how did that work out for ya? that whole total-absence-of-activity thing? i hope being frozen in time at my behest didn't screw up anything.

hey, i can dream, can't i? delusion is d'lovely!

***

so iz back from my trip. where did i go, you ask? 'round the bend, you ask? silly you. oh, how you tease me and play upon my self-doubt.

iz back from enwhysee, see?

the apple of unusual size.

new yawk.

unlike last time i journeyed east, i didn't get to meet up with my main new york men, proven and ultrasparky. this time i wanted to spend some QT with my homie, who i haven't seen in too, too long.

so my homie has been in NYC for almost a year now and is really hitting her stride. fun job, great co-workers, great apt. and neighborhood, dating, sampling the local culture, and all. she is doing it up right. i envy her, i must tell ya. first, for living in such a cool place. second, for having the balls to move there all by her 'lone. she is a true adventuress in my book, and i gots to give her mad props for that, yo.

new york still pulls at my heartstrings, that is for sure. i almost broke up with l.a. last year to move in with nyc, but chickened out. the old familiarity of the city of angels, my nice job and pad and friends and sister, and a bit 'o' leaving-everything-i-know fear kept me here.

so onto the trip report, if ya care to lend an ear.

highlights would include:

- napping. yawning off jet lag in homie's room with her sis, my traveling buddy, while homie tinkered with her modem. peace and comfort and good friends and the promise of fun to come.

- endless shopping. finding the requisite weird shoes to wear home to show the kids at work. let's just say that my cartoony-round toe, patchwork pink and maroon selection was a hit! i like to mix it up for the crowd, yaknow.

- food. oh-my-gawd. i have never eaten better food. i don't know what it is about new york, but they know their way around a kitchen. there was this mint-coconut sauce at one restaurant that i drank like soup! my palate will never be the same.

- flirting. i don't know if it was the merlot talking, but i was throwing down one night when we went out for dinner. my gal pals were amazed at my wit on tap. between their loveliness and my sassiness, we had a french waiter and host eating out of our hands. hey, if it gets me free dessert, i'm willing to cash a charm check.

- art. the metropolitan museum of art, to be exact. the jackie o. exhibit was funky fresh. she sounded like marilyn monroe when she spoke, all breathy, and was poised beyond belief. the ultimate first lady in every way. i liked reading one of her letters to a hatmaker about her trademark pillboxes, etc., "oh, it was so much easier before i wore hats. they will pauperize me and i still feel so absurd wearing them." i'm sure that's how j-lo feels about her hoop earrings. while my girlie-whirlies finished up their audio tapes for the exhibit, i snuck ahead into some of the other rooms. i saw picasso, van gogh, monet, cezanne. i love to stand up close to the paintings, looking at the individual brushstrokes and realizing, hey, vincent stood in this same position. claude's brush touched this. pablo put that little dollop of yellow right there. it's an honor to being within kissing distance of such amazing human genius. quite awe-inspiring. quite, quite, quite a privilege.

- the city. it's just the most beautiful city i've ever seen. the regal brownstones, the mouldings and gargoyles and steeped-in history. just breathtaking. i could stare at it all day...and did.

ok, i admit it. i'm still not over new york. although i love l.a. and all she holds for me, nyc is still the apple of my eye.

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