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2001-06-27 | 11:22 p.m.

corduroy licorice was worth his weight in gold. at least that's what his life insurance policy specified as a payout to next of kin upon his demise.

***

you ain't gonna believe this shit. no, you ain't.

i ran into my ex-boyfriend, desert storm, today.

to some, this might not seem to be a hugely amazing deal. he and i do live in the same general vicinty, give or take 10 miles. despite that, the many moving electrons of the metropolis don't often collide in a city as busy as angel hood. i haven't run into him on the street for a couple of years.

this information is all just to give you a framework to suspend your disbelief from.

so i go to a morning meeting with my boss at our client's corporate building. we're walking out into the parking lot when i see some skinny dude in shorts, a white t-shirt and a head-wrapping walkman coming towards us.

all of a sudden, i hear, "is that nictate?" and as he gets closer, i realize...hey, he looks vaguely fami...oh, man. it's desert storm!

we hugged, since we are on peaceful terms now. i introduced him to my boss, whose presence made an already rife-with-awkwardness situation even more so. we made small talk, anxious jokes and then said goodbye.

he was taking a morning walk since he's on vacation and lives a few blocks away from that corporate park. ok, it is within the realm of possibility that i'd run into him around there. but within the 1.5-minute time period that i'm walking from building to car? within the 100-foot area in which we'd recognize each other? in a random parking lot he has no reason to be in? i think you see where i'm going with this, right? this is the written version of me grabbing and shaking your shoulders.

so my boss, not sure of what just happened, and i got back in my ride.

"what the hell?!" i bellowed, "that was my ex-boyfriend. the one i used to always complain about back when we worked in this very building."

my boss inquired as to my current state of mind. i assured him i was a bit shaken, but ok, and said:

"what is the universe trying to tell me?"

we drove out the same way desert storm was walking.

"want to hit him?" asked my boss.

"hmmm...i guess we'd better take another exit, so as not to tempt the fates." i replied prudently.

the extra layer of nougat-y goodness here is that back when i was engaged in desert storm manuevers, i was doing freelance for said client. they wanted to hire me full-time and i was weighing my options. desert storm told me i'd be crazy to give up my freelance freedom for a steady gig working for the man. i, of the liking-to-know-where-my-next-meal-is-coming-from ilk, was ready to give up a little freedom for a steady check.

during our argument on the subject, desert storm told me that if i took the job, he'd break up with me. ok, hi, control freak? at the time, i just got all weepy about it instead of righteously pissed as i should have been.

later he told me that he was just trying to make a point. (that whole story is wrong on so many levels, some of which i'm the end boss on.) anyway, the subtext to his big threat was that he didn't want me taking the job because it would mean i would have an anchor in l.a. and would able to move within a 10-mile radius of him (instead of the 60-mile radius we had previously had)...too close for his comfort. it's no coincidence that he broke up with me two days after i found out i'd gotten a pad on the westside.

that tangent was brought to you by the makers of minty fresh, isn't it ironic(TM). see, i randomly run into this former nemesis on one of the biggest battlegrounds of our relationship...literally in the shadow of the corporate monolith that i wisely and fortunately chose over his threats.

plus, i was looking all bootylicious (thanks for the term, tvzero) in a sassy skirt and top and he was all skanky and sweaty from working out, his matted plush-toy hair stuffed under a baseball cap.

i be jelly, he be toast.

bitter much? nah, just enjoying karmaliciousness, boo.

yaknowwhati'msayin'?

poetic justice ain't just a janet jackson movie, people.

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take a peek at these - (c) 2000-2003 nictate:

health tip
2005-03-16

health tip
2005-03-16

moving house
2004-11-19

quibbling with quitherfeather
2004-11-17

catcher in the wry
2004-11-16