2001-06-01 | 12:54 a.m.

corduroy licorice had a monkey on his back. of all his silk-screened t-shirts, his curious george one was his favorite.

***

starbucks has a billboard campaign going with large shots of their frozen blended coffee drinks topped with whipped cream and headlines like, "because your office doesn't have an ocean view" or "because you're sitting in traffic instead of on the beach."

why don't they just cut to the chase and say:

"because your life sucks...starbucks."

***

"ode to my tummy"

a liposome poem

my tummy is fat.

that is an undeniable fact.

the last time i was thin,

was because of depression over breaking up with him.

the magazine covers say

i can have a flat one in 30 days,

but i know my palate won't deny

the pleasure of an apple pie.

sure, sit-ups are one route to take,

but i prefer the crunches nestle makes.

if only i could be real zen,

and ignore sugar-coated temptation.

i look at models in advertisements to inspire

me to get off my ass and retread my spare tire,

but nothing seems to do the trick,

not even kate moss and her razor-sharp hips.

maybe if i knew it would earn me johnny depp,

i could commit to exercise with more pep.

hmmm...you know, he's not that hot anymore.

i'd trade that chocolat hunk in a second for a melty microwaved s'more.

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