2001-04-12 | 5:47 a.m.

a cop once threw the book at corduroy licorice. it was the phone book. corduroy wanted his one call to be to dominos and didn't know the number by heart.

"do you like mushrooms, officer?" inquired corduroy.

***

frigid air. frigidaire. coincidence? i think not.

frigid heir. no relation. no sexual relations, that is.

***

once in awhile i don't quite hear what a person has said and then to avoid making them repeat themselves, i pretend like i do and react in the way i think would be appropriate if they said something like i think they just said. then i have to watch their reaction to my reaction to see if i got it right. there's that split-second of "oh, shit! they're onto me. the jig's up." and then they continue their story and all is well. that's when i know i was at least in the ballpark. whew!

gee, i guess it would be a lot easier just to say, "what?"

desert storm once told me that i always do things the hardest way possible. if i was a super hero, that would be my power...doing things the hardest way possible.

look, it's a bird, it's a plane, it's "hard way girl" in a lead-based, pedal-driven flying apparatus!

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