2001-02-25 | 10:39 a.m.

corduroy licorice was a true penny-pincher, but when it came to nickels, he preferred to tickle. as far as dimes, he didn't have the time, and any contact with quarters was against doctor's orders.

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you know how certain people have their own identifiable catchphrases? i was thinking about some of my teachers in high school and how they all seemed to have their own trademark line. like our p.e. teacher would greet us with, "hello, lovely ladies," each day. our biology teacher would put her hand on her hip and give us a look when we were being rowdy instead of reading about photosynthesis with this scold: "what could you be doing now?" our much-feared chemistry teacher would randomly say, "what to do, what to do?" with a puckered little smile on his face. the social studies teacher liked to give assignments by prefacing with an exaggerated "it would behoooooove you to..."

heh. high school teachers. i had good ones. i've thought about writing them notes to thank them for giving me such a good start, but i've always been too lazy.

prepare for triteness, but teachers can make such a difference in a child's life...for better or worse.

my worst school experience was in fourth grade. i was struggling with math...just not "getting it." my math teacher was a woman in her late 50s who wore a long grey braid. to her classroom pets, she was beloved, but to me, she was a mean old lady. she divided the class into a smart side and a dumb side. she didn't use those terms, but the reason for the division was obvious. i was on the dumb side and remember how my brain would fuzz over with confusion at the formulas before me. one day i didn't finish my classwork and the mean old battleaxe (what a great word, by the way) pulled me out of another class and plopped me down in front of her class until i was done. my face burned with shame. school was out before i finished and my worried mom came hunting for me. i hated that teacher so much. so, so much.

that summer my parents put me in summer school to help me with my math problems (literally and figuratively, heh). i had a teacher by the name of mr. hubbard. he was a nice guy in his late 40s. he had us learning times tables. for some reason, i really got into times tables and would even stay in at recess to practice the work. i think i also wanted to make mr. hubbard proud. he kind of picked me out as his pet and, boy, did i need that little extra sunlight to make my sad little mildewed math seed grow.

one day we took a class field trip and were walking on the slope of the railroad tracks. he said, "look at how well nictate walks on the slanted hill! she's a regular moutain goat." my heart swelled with pride. funnily enough, whenever i go hiking and keep my footing well, i still think of that compliment. "look at mountain goat me go!"

so the last day of summer school arrived, which meant it was the day of the final times tables quiz. the prize for finishing first was $1. mr. hubbard lifted the loose edge of a poster clipped to the chalkboard and wrote something underneath before dropping the sheet again.

he said "begin" and i got my no. 2 off and running. i raised my hand the instant i filled in the last number. 9x9=89 (doh! i mean, 81. thanks, mr. hubbard!)

mr. hubbard congratulated me and lifted the edge of the poster to show the class what he had scrawled in chalk. it said: "nictate will win." he had seen me skipping recess to memorize each little square, each little equation, and knew my practice would pay off.

can you imagine the glory of that moment for me, the girl from the dumb side of the tracks?

another little girl called out, "i saw him write that!" to get her little moment of glory, too.

i accepted my dollar bill with great honor, making sure mr. hubbard put it in his pocket for safe-keeping while i went out for recess.

somehow in the excitement of the day, i forgot to get my dollar before i went home. the next day or so, mr. hubbard dropped by my house to give me my precious prize. he drove across town to give a soon-to-be fifth grader a buck. of course, the money was secondary to the real prize i'd received from this kind man and the wise way he rescued me from math purgatory.

three of my good friends are teachers and i admire what they do so much. i can't imagine how they keep up their stamina and enthusiasm, but they do a wonderful job and i know their kids are lucky to have them.

i've always thought maybe one day i'll get involved in the world of teaching. i would definitely like to be a part of such a worthy pursuit. i would like to be a mr. hubbard to someone someday, just to return the invaluable favor.

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